Tortured Memories

Written by: Peter Golden

My rational and irrational thoughts 
as always come out and 
start to spar with each other
in an all too familiar 
bitter sweet and obnoxious way:
identical twin brothers
who don’t even have the energy
and wherewithal to  
despise each other
but continue to have  
the ‘wisdom’ to loathe 
the people they have become
to the detriment
of an adult who still 
aspires to embrace
and caress the inner child
with a knowing affection
even though his parents,
in spite of themselves,
contrived to present  
a  marriage, a family refuge,
(don’t make me laugh)
which all too often resulted
in so many angry 
and aggressive arguments,   
night after night 
as my sister and I tried to sleep
upstairs in their so called 
marital bed.

My sister and I,
well, we haven’t spoken for years.
When I see her again
will I embrace an adult, a sister, 
who is now fifty years old,
or like me,  a still terrified 
four year old child
who has spent his life, alone,