Once Upon a Time

Written by: Kristina Reid-Hansen

This is a story, short, but true
About a woman who had eyes that were black and blue.

 About a man who can eat things ten times his size,
 And a dog who was considered to be amazingly wise

 They lived in a land of shades of four,
 And lived in a cave which had no door

 But that's not the point I want to make
 Because the things I just said are truly fake

  But the story is of a man who juggled his head
 And when he got bored he'd play dead

  He had one friend and his name was Tom
  Tom made a bomb which killed his mom

 He became very dull, empty, and grim
 But moving along, for the story is not of him.

 It's about a woman who had turn green
 Sick from all the beauty she had seen

  Wait! The story is not about her either,
 This story pertains to a boy eating a beaver

 O'boy, I just can’t get this right!
 I think it’s about a girl who lost her arm in a fight.

 Or of a guy who collected decapitated heads,
 Or of a baby who sold bear traps as beds.

 Once upon a time the sun lost its shine,
 Once upon a time we all came from slime

  I better make this story end right now,
 Before I tell the story of the man who birthed a cow.