breaking again

Written by: katie livingston

normally im the kind of girl 
that ignores problems
but i dont think i can do it
i want to cry and scream
kick,hit,punch,throw, and scream some more
trash my room. 
typical teenager right?
i dont know why im like this
why im broken
why im hurting
but i am
i feel like my heart is breaking
and i can feel it twisting in my chest
waiting for something bad enough
to cause it to shatter...
i do everything and anything to hold myself together
but its getting harder and harder to do...
i wrap my arms around myself and wait...
i wait to break 
i wait to hurt 
i wait to be torn.
because sooner or later,
i know its going to happen
it always does
i count my steps
because im so sure
that the floor will fall through
because thats what im used to
and as much as i want to change
im left with the questions
"who will ever love me?
who will ever want me?
when will this pain stop?
will this ever be over?"
and i find myself sitting alone again
too scared to move
too scared to think
too scared to feel anything
anything other than fear
im scared of falling too far in love
because i know im going to get hurt
and im going to be broken again...