My Last Goodbye

Written by: Kim Hilliker

As I reflect upon my life, it scares me in a way
For, my condescending attitude was never okay.

Once a strong, brave soldier, I never contemplated fear
Nether did I comprehend a real man could shed a tear.

My children, how I loved you, but this I couldn’t show
Now, as I lay here dying, you still may never know.

I’m sorry, my dear children, for not always being there
I knew you had your mother, but that didn’t make it fair

It’s not that I was an awful man; for, I performed good deeds too
But, they were in between the harshness and often misconstrued

Once indestructible, I’ve now been dropped down to my knees
Now, it’s I with supplications, demandings and pleas.

Please don’t feel sorry for the pains I now endure
For, God has granted me repentance, this you can be sure.

I will cross into love rather than a bleak, black hole
My purgatory’s been erased, I’m paying now in full

Please learn to fathom that though you see tears in my eyes
I’m ever growing stronger and preparing for my demise 

Now as I say my last goodbye, I want to let you know
I truly loved each one of you though you didn’t believe it so

And as I breathe my last breaths, please always understand
It was being your father that made me into a man.

 


Dedicated to my friend, Mimi, as her father passed away.