down n' out in the outhouse!

Written by: Milton Toran

chillin' in the outhouse,
gettin' high on turds;
thinkin' 'bout my crappy life,
can't sum it up in words!

i share my bed with an ogre,
she fibs between her teeth;
an angel on the outside,
a devil underneath!

the kids ain't worth a quarter,
always wantin' more;
they won't go out and get a job,
what are they waitin' for?!

i got a cat named Bonzo,
he won't use the litterbox;
barfin' hairballs every mornin',
right on my favorite socks!

my silly ol' dog named Marco,
with a brain no bigger than a pea;
he never barks at strangers,
instead, he barks at me!

my bills are in collections,
i might be losin' my job;
they're 'bout to take away my car,
i feel like a rotten slob!

i guess i'll grab my gun,
maybe i should end it all;
i'm tired of everybody's bull,
i'm tired of takin' the fall!

just when i think i've had enough,
others are havin' it worse;
suicide's the cheap way out,
it's time to put God first!

who knows if i'll be homeless,
or in the employment line;
today i'll weather the storms,
tomorrow the sun will shine!