Numb

Written by: Louise Picek

I just want to be numb.
Without passion,
or perversion.
Where I can smile vacantly,
and walk unwaveringly.
Where everything that was means nothing,
the battles of today cease,
and the worries of tomorrow have no control over me.

I just wish to be numb.
Here I could breathe,
not dread where my thoughts would lead me.
See through untainted eyes that couldn't go astray.
Where I wouldn't have to fear where my flesh would lead me,
how I could ruin the brightest of days
with my hidden sick twisted ways.

I just pray to be numb.
Holding back everything that used to be.
Passionless,
nothing to make me hate me,
question everything I believe,
I wish I could conceive,
be free,
a world of an emotionless me.

Why can't I just be,
fade into the oblivion that I used to seek,
numb...
able to ignore the world that tried so hard to engulf me.