DRIFTING PT. 1 THE BEGINNING OF THE END

Written by: Larry McMillan Jr.

Man…  What’s wrong with me? I just don’t feel right.
I can’t stay still.  I’m up all night.
And my nerves….  Are completely shot.
And my head…  Please somebody make it stop!
I ‘wanna’ snap.  But I can’t.  My voice is mute -Thoughts are froze
Slowly I’m losing it….  Mind, body, and soul.
Man…  What’s wrong with me! I just don’t feel right!
Somebody help me…..make it through the night!
But all are sleep, so again I pace.  Back and forth I go, In that darkest place
Hand on my chest as I anticipate..  The last beat……of my dieing heart
Breathing my last …as my soul departs
From this world…  But to where?
Somebody help me!  Please oh no I can’t go there…..!
That place I see… when I close my eyes,
Where a multitude appear… to have already died. 
I hear their screams, from the torment and pain. 
They cried for help…  But no one came.   
 “Please help me God!  I swear I’ll change!
I’ll do what’s right, and in my life You’ll reign”!
Each day I prayed this, but still I drifted.
Non stop I pleaded that this curse be lifted!
But then it hit me - dawned on me swiftly.
I’m in no position to bring such a petition.
All of a sudden crying out to God,
When all the while…I had ample time to listen.
And that was my conviction Long ago… I should’ve listened.
But I didn’t -Despite all the dreams, visions and premonitions.
And not to mention - The advice… and warnings given
Time after time, at the table in my mothers kitchen.
But I didn’t,, And in my sinful ways, I persisted.
Now it’s too late, because now all is vain. No prayer’s valid once your insane.
So now I’m at….. a point of no return My clock is ‘tickin’ and soon I'll burn
So I return to that darkest place. where back and forth… Back and forth I paced.
Hand on my chest as I anticipated.. The last beat… of my dieing heart,
Breathing my last… as  my soul departs
From this world…  But to where? Lord please have mercy!  Don’t send me there!
My pace accelerates.  My  thoughts begin to race
What can I do... to elude this dreadful date with fate
You hear that  sound?  Man.. my clock is 'tickn'
I pray no more, ‘cause’ He ain’t ‘listenin’
All hope has left me… Now evil reigns
And it’s growing stronger, pumping through my veins
I’ts now official.  I’ve lost all control -
Of my mind, body and soul.
Something or someone now has possession!
Death any second becomes an obsession!
When and how are the only questions!
But before I go… I feel as though - TBC /ON THE NEXT ENTRY