Letting Go

Written by: Amy Swanson

I wrote this about the recent passing of my mother, Annette.  She was a rock, kind and
loving, my confidant and best friend - a Godly woman.  I miss her already, deeply.  

She died on January 24th, 2009 at 10:30 p.m. due to complications of a UTI that went
septic through her system, and a blood clot that formed in her foot.  She suffered and
painfully fought for three weeks... she was facing multiple amputations of all her limbs
and multiple organ failure.  She was only 61. 

My heart was imprinted greatly with her love and I am thankful for her.  She made me so
much of who I am today.



Letting Go
     by Amy Swanson 


Letting go
    of things that I
          once held dear, believed in

My soul
    stripped bare
             in agony, for all the world to see

Heart beats
     yet
          it feels so cold inside

Silence
      sits like stone
           in my spirit.

Life has led us
       on this 
             journey...
                  but one lonely road 
                         sought us out with furious speed;


A road that was not wanted or desired.


How can you
    be so accepting?

How can you
    not be angry, as I am?

How can you
     ... still believe?

...and how will I
      ever again believe...?


I feel as though life took a wrong turn...
    or someone didn't write the script correctly...
         it wasn't supposed to be this way.



I weep
    great sobbing tears
           that threaten to rip out my very essence


The pain so sharp
      like knives of ice

The judgment harsh
       unfair and undeserved

Sternly.... 
     mercilessly...
              delivered.

They say that there is peace in death
     but there was none
             only cruel suffering
                  that should not have been allowed;
                         torment inflicted
                             poor bruised body
                                    until
                                       so still you lay...

                                               life was no more.


I ask, "What meaning can there be?"

    I strain to hear the answer
                but there is no response...

                         only unwavering silence.


A part of me will never be the same.



Existence I now view with different eyes.