cerebral

Written by: Tracy Decker

I wonder how quickly my cat will learn 
to equate scratching the table with 
my getting off the couch to swat in her direction 
and if she will start to think 
"hey, since she's up, maybe she'll feed me." 
I wonder how much muscle mass 
I will lose in three days 
of sitting on this couch and if 
the brain cells strengthened by 
constantly thinking about you will compensate. 
I wonder if the people who write the 
witty dialogue for television are actually 
funny in real life or if it's just a job to them. 
I wonder if the ancient philosophers 
actually thought the questions they were posing 
were important or if they were just trying to 
seem smart around the other philosophers, and 
I wonder what would have happened if 
one of them said "you know, let's just cut the crap." 

I wonder what it feels like to know something 
with no hesitations or second thoughts.  I wonder 
who on my street right now is fighting, who 
is making love, who is playing with a child, 
who is wishing they never had a child, who 
regrets their marriage, who is praying 
for love to find them, who is laughing on the outside 
but slowly dying on the inside within 
their picture-perfect quasi-life of conformity and 
expectation and impossible standards. Maybe just me.