Perhaps I need an Audience

Written by: Woodrow Lucas

Why am I threatening?
Why am I threatening to do this thing, it is in my mind to do?
I am a man of action,
I am a man of deeds.
Why am I threatening?
Am I seeking approval?
Am I so self absorbed that my mother’s madness and daughter’s sorrow, my wife’s anguish, 
and my father’s rage toward God mean nothing?
Am I so selfish that I would put them through such that loss just so I can escape to a 
cowardly reverie?
I am not sure.
But I am threatening, and that thing is in my mind.
Perhaps I need an audience,
Perhaps I need an audience, for the things unsaid and unheard about me,
Perhaps I need an audience to remind me of a God that is better than my reckoning of 
abandonment.
I am not sure.
Will I do this, or just threaten.
Perhaps I need an audience.