College Bill

Written by: Lindsay Laurie

I grew up with Phillip Jones, who was our doctor’s son,
We built huts amongst the ti-tree, and fired the odd slug gun,
We went through school together and we hung out up the street,
Played footy and played cricket, and there’s girls we used to meet.

But that was many years ago when we were in our teens,
When life was free and easy and we were full of beans,
Circumstances ripped our time apart, as circumstances can…
I took on the factory life, and Phillip followed his old man.

Doctor Jones our family doctor continued in his trade,
He kept our little town alive with choices that he made,
Babes were born and people died, and there were heart attacks,
He tended those who don’t feel pain and hypochondriacs. 

But now our doctor is retiring for he’s turning sixty-five,
Sending shock waves through the sick, on how they will survive,
But Doctor Jones destroyed the rumours that affected everyone,
By reassuring all his patients, their new doctor is his son.

So Phillip Jones is coming home, my good old school day mate,
And he’s going to be our doctor, which really should be great,
I’ll make sure we catch up, and of course that’s what we did,
To talk about the good old days, when we were just a kid.

I tell you I’m excited when invited, to Doctor Jones’ place,
He’d put on a dinner party asking me to show me face,
Doctor Jones has put his feet up now since Phillip stole the show,
And is treating all the patients that his father got to know.

But Phillip’s changed an awful lot; he’s inherited a plum,
All he spoke about is college, and he made me feel like scum,
He’s turned into a ‘know all’, a pompous haughty cad,  
And he even claimed with disregard; he’s smarter than his Dad.

Doctor Jones took on the challenge “Why do you say that son?”
And Phillip said, “My father dear, for example here is one,
Mrs. Wenn the wealthy spinster, took heed of my suggestion,
And after all her troubled years, I have rid her indigestion.”

Doctor Jones picked up his napkin, and patted both his lips,
“Son, I’m very proud of you, but you’re still needing tips,
Sometimes I think it doesn’t pay to overload with knowledge…
Indigestion suffered in this case, is what, put you, through college.”