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HOWDY PARDNERS - IT'S THE COLORADO KID

HOWDY, PARDNERS?
IT'S THE COLORADO KID!

 
"Featuring: Two Jags...The 
Musical."
(scene 1. Two Jags strolls on 
to the porch
of a Colorado ranch, his best 
girl by his side.)
 
Gh, give me a Dome,
Where The Hindujas roam,
And Sinbad and Mandelson play.
Where roulette wheels spin,
The house always wins,
And millions are lost every day.
 
Oh, give me a horse,
And a stetson, of course,
Saddle that fine Palamino.
A belt buckle, too,
And a trusty lasso,
Now where did you want your 
casino?
 
 
(scene11, Breakfast round the 
chuck wagon.
A cowboy strums a guitar, to 
the tune of, "Oh,
what a beautiful morning.")
 
 
Oh, what a ludicrous moron,
Oh, what a blithering clown.
Lock up your wives and your 
daughters,
Cos, Two Jags is coming to town.
 
 
(scene111. In a tepee in the hills, 
two jags meets
a tribe of Red Indians. To the tune 
of Running Bear,
they serenade him.)
 
 
Oompah, oompah, oompah, oompah.
Oompah, oompah, oompah, oompah.
 
On the banks of The Humber,
Lived Cunning John, New Labour 
brave,
And he loved an English maiden,
Tracy Temple was her name.
 
They stole kisses in the office,
In a cupboard, when they could,
In his apartment in Westminster,
And his house in Dorneywood.
 
Cunning John loved little Tracy,
Little Tracy, she too was keen.
But on the banks of the Humber,
Lived his darling wife Pauline.
 
Then one morning in the papers,
Was a photo of the pair.
Tracy hoisted on John's shoulders,
With her knickers in the air.
 
Little Tracy sold her story,
For two hundred thousand quid.
And from then on, John's new 
nickname,
Was The Chipolata Kid.
 
 
(scene 1V. Two jags leaning on a 
picket fence,
humming "The Ballad of High Noon.)
 
 
Do not forsake me, Oh my Tony,
Please don't do anything you'd regret.
I know the deal you made with Dubya,
And that's not something I'd forget.

 
 (curtain down...The End.)
 
 
BY
DARRYL ASHTON     
 

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