Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

See and share Beautiful Nature Photos and amazing photos of interesting places

Read journey Poems Online

NextLast
 

MY JOURNEY TO YOU

Little eyes search a new world . . .
  The gaze and suckle for food, body and soul.
     A tiny heart tuned to the glow and tone of love.
         Compelled to bond . . . drawn to the love gaze
             Mother . . . Father
                 Chosen in the soul’s spirit quest
                     what was known, now obscured 
                         Soul’s desire to be flesh.

How was I conceived?
   An act of love, desire, need, lust, passion?
      Unconscious of my own conception
   The invisible participant
Life’s mysterious ménage a trios.

Being born oblivious provides no insulation
  when delivered into the acetylene torch
     crossed and frayed wires of bitter parents.
Explosions of rage . . . too sudden for small and toddling legs to escape.
    Tender senses scorched. Heart seared. Terrified.
  Mind’s burrows dug deep beneath the conflagration.
                   Huddle and tremble 
        await signs of fire storms conclusion.

Calm?  
   A fearful crawl to the surface
      Barely exposed
          Eyes cautious 
     Deciphering the face of mother then father.
        Ashen 
             Exhausted
      Eyes, searing embers.
 They trudge through rubble 
                           cinders
                 charred corpses of words
          shouted . . . and threatened 
                 souls scared and armored.

Words the mistaken enemy 
    Instigators of continued marital strife
       Silence a simmering refuge
          Frost bitten eyes of evasion
       Shielded, scorched hearts
    Tolerated phantoms they
An endless cold war in a place called home.

In the beginning was the word
  Your sounds in my mind and mouth.
                  Coo and babble.
The ancient celestial winds swirled in my lungs.
The divine conductor orchestrated the mystical moment: 
                    ma ma. . . .  da da 
                  Did you truly hear me?

My hands on a chair . . .  the letting go . . . timid steps into the great void  
  wobbling legs, diaper descending, butt naked, I toddled 
                                    pudgy arms reached to you.
                                           Were you there?

                                              . . . Love . . .
                                     a mere obligation to a vow?
                                              . . . Love . . .
                     a mere arrangement of consonants and vowels?
                
Time and again . . . the fearful crawl to the surface
  Decipher the face of mother then father
    Vacant gazes to anywhere but each other
      Mutual strangers carving a frozen asylum
   Indifference their drug for festering wounds.
             You . . . Phantom to phantom 
                  become my phantoms.
            Your vacant stare my vacant stare.

A child’s confusion:  
        Mother . . . Father 
  How did I lose the magic to enthrall?
        How did I fail you?
What did I do to lose your love?

Still the yearn for the joy that welcomed my birth.
   I was your precious one 
      Your bright eyes
          My joy of your joy
             My delight of your delight.

Vague memories of enfolded fondness.
     The tender embrace, the serene snuggle, the oneness of a we.

The need and want of love:  
                  How can I rekindle your love?
                A desperate search for the fuel.
I gather kindling in all that I do: school, sports, honors
       The ritual marches to deliver pleading offerings.
                      A love shrouded in absence
               I look down at my accomplishments:
           Mere twigs and sticks, decayed dead wood
                     food of ungrateful insects
                              Arms weaken 
                    Burden and tears fall to earth 
                  Healing is a foreign and alien place
               The decision final 
            Never again to return.

A youth’s anguish: 
    I hate you for bringing me into your hell.
        I know my place . . . 
            Mind’s burrows dug deep beneath the carnage.
                Isolation . . . the numbness of drugs oblivion.
                     
                 Transformation . . . Before my eyes!
             Girls all about me . . . beauty. 
       A bolt of lightning, a direct hit, burrow piercing radiance.

Wild scramble to the surface.
                    Drawn to the love gaze 
                          a boy . . . a girl 
         chosen in soul’s spirit quest to love and be loved

                                   You . . . I
                      Our limbs and souls entwined  
                           ethereal blazing stars               
                           Creator’s gift in deed.                  
                                                     
                                 A solemn vow
                 spoken man-child to woman-child
                          born of wounded hearts
                     witnesses to the rebirth of love
                           In all our imperfection
                     In times of anger, hurt and fear
                 . . . No matter how difficult the task . . . 
   . . . No matter how great the challenges of self-revelation . . .
                         . . . together we will stand . . .
                                  . . . eye to eye . . .
                           . . . embrace to embrace . . 
                                . . . heart to heart . . .
                                  . . . soul to soul . . .
       . . . Teaching each other the words and touches that heal . . .
             . . . Our togetherness a true labor and gift of love . . .

NextLast

Comments

Please Login to post a comment





A comment has not been posted for this poem. Be the first to comment.



Back