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Breaking Through

I drifted to this place	 
When might I drift away?			
Am lost in time and space		
Cold feet encased in clay		

Afraid.  I am offbeat			
Next year I will as well		
Shamefully repeat			
Tucked inside my shell			

Are false masks better than		
The fear I have no face?		
Why not be a real man		
Contempt for this disgrace		

The others seem together		
My disappointed self			
Chafes against the leather		
Of life upon a shelf			

The hourglass is filling		
Sitting here regretting		
I make no progress chilling		
My purposeless upsetting		

False Christian and false doctor	
Puzzled father, baffled mate		
Away with all the awkward		
Before it’s just too late		

Fastened here so tightly		
Accurate? Or no?			
Why not live more rightly?		
Who has shown me so?		

And bathroom glass reveals		
My fortune’s lonesome actor			
No alibi conceals			
No outside minds a factor		

Searing streak of insight		
It’s I.  I see that now			
Knot inside my windpipe		
And sweat upon my brow		

The phantoms hang around		
For my eyes lone to see		
Cant seem to shut them down	
Should I just leave them be?		

I crave for life to change		
But what is it I do?			
Will others find it strange 		
To live with someone new		

Stinking, stagnate coward!		
Seek no outside forces!		
My weaknesses they tower		
Sturdy as wild horses		

Perhaps best not to glance		
Sure not a pretty sight		
For once my courage stands		
I will .  With all my might		

I hold fast to my ground		
What ground is it I seek?		
Today it shall be found		
But not amongst the weak		

To love and feel essential		
Control , companionship		
To fill up my potential		
To bareness shall I strip		

I steel my face with sternness	
I will retreat no more		
And now with manly firmness	
I free my limited self			



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