Shall I compare thee to a most foul stench?
A skunk’s sweet-smelling aura more lovely
Than that ugly face which makes my fists clench.
Pray you leave; that we should be so lucky!
Sometimes too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is your pale complexion broiled,
To peeling, pasty, unnat’ral pink lines,
Reminiscent of a red lobster, oiled.
But soon, sweet sleaze-ball, thine sunburn shall fade
And leave in its wake, that china-fair skin,
Which glitters bright e’en in afternoon shade;
So strange I suspect you are but pure sin.
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives my complete hatred for thee.