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The Devil Made Me Do It

It had been a long night, an hour drive just to be with my sister. One must stay in touch with family; it’s the right thing to do. I don’t even know what movie we saw. Here she was again in all her glory whining and whimpering about her conditions. Confined space is the wrong place to be with someone bi-polar. Sometimes I think the family should mark her eruptions on a calendar, maybe there’s a pattern? She was hungry; her blood sugar was low; hurry get her home! “Geez Sis, if my life depended on carrying peanuts and or a blood testing kit, I make damn sure I had them with me!” was my reply. 

the sleet fell
through the headlight beams:
fog inside

“You bleeping self-centered witch!” was her reply, and on and on, enumerating all my faults at the top of her lungs. Her face was darting back and forth across the stick shift. The weather was so bad, and her screaming so loud; I almost drove us up a telephone pole. The back road to her house was serpentine through a pinewood and over small slick bridges. Well about fifteen minutes into my dissection, I burst a gut. “You need to have some control. Your diet is horrible. I wish you could see yourself eating. Your plate might as well be a trough.” There now I’ve gone and done it, I thought to myself. The little devil in me was all smiles. When we pulled into the driveway, she leapt out.

the car door
slams rattling the glass:
eyes wet as rain glass 

It only felt good for a moment. It was true; she did deserve the comment. She’d felt free to butcher me, but it was wrong to try to hurt her. The momentary release, which felt so good, has given us months of anguish. 




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  1. Date: 9/8/2014 6:28:00 PM

    No it WASN'T wrong to hurt her! She deserved it...This reminds me of my bro-in-law and my neighbor across the street...It's everyone's fault but their own... My neighbor is a beautiful lady with a nice bod (She was a dancer in NO and was in Playboy mag) but she is a diagnosed psychotic and is of off her meds... Stunning and insightful write Cher - Tim
  1. Date: 9/8/2014 6:07:00 PM

    i have a sister like this touching beautiful write god bless
  1. Date: 9/6/2014 9:07:00 PM

    This touched me, personally. It's because others do not understand the helplessness of someone with mental illness and that we feel awful when we finally can't take anymore, like we have been "eroded" by all that acid and fog. If someone is autistic, we now say, "the rocking, gestures, lack of emotion is a part of their persona, one they cannot change." Yet when someone is bipolar we hear others say, "She is horrible, how can you stand her?" I get this. Too well. Love sent. Soupie!
  1. Date: 9/5/2014 9:52:00 PM

    also, if I had a sister like this, I think I would not be visiting her often!! I guess every family has a black sheep! Maybe I am the one in MY family. hahaha
  1. Date: 9/5/2014 9:51:00 PM

    this really held my attention, Debs. I love a good flash story!! I especially liked the second haiku of your haibun. a question for you now? What is the title of the picture in your contest? I have a hard time making out its details and I need to find a bigger copy of it!
  1. Date: 9/5/2014 6:14:00 AM

    Painful comments released never helps a situation does it..Most of the time two people end up hurling hurts back and forth until the breaking point..They say that angry comments make imprints on everything..There was this study done where ice was looked at under a microscope and designs in the ice look grotesque when the words are angry, hurtful and malicious..Enjoyed reading your Haibun..Thanks for the visit to my page..Sara
  1. Date: 9/4/2014 6:36:00 PM

    Ok Debbie this was interesting work, we all have to vent I guess, I wanted to stop by and offer you a Halloween invitation, pick a number from 1 to 31. I've written one poem for each day of the month. All poems will be chosen randomly, and what number you chose is the day it will be posted. No titles will be given out ahead of time. If I gave it out it may spoil the fun right. so let me no dear lady cheri
  1. Date: 9/4/2014 2:46:00 PM

    This make me think of the way I act,I am known to be very patient,and caring.I can take things inside me for years ,but if that day comes when I explide,and let my emotions take over..Gee the devil makes me do it too..Cause I ll act like an erupted volcano.Yes letting the steam out helps us feel good but worsen things in the long run.Powerful poem..I can feel your heartbeat Debora..I love your haibun ,and am favoring the poem!!Charma
  1. Date: 9/3/2014 6:26:00 PM

    what Carrie said. you are a brilliant writer.
  1. Date: 9/3/2014 5:36:00 PM

    First of all,( just to get this out of the way.) are so gifted at writing in this form....always brilliantly. But the heart of this poem must not be overlooked, for the pain it evokes from a difficult relationship, yet one that may be complicated, of love, of hurt, that struggles for patience to sort through.. It is no wonder we sometimes feel guilty when we cannot hold ourselves together. We are human..and we can only try. :)