On my porch
is a raccoon-
He said he’d leave by June,
but he’s been stealing all my spoons;
and his paws are always in my pots,
tying my plants all up in knots.
He steals all my dog’s food,
and always walks around in the nude.
Now I don’t know how to get rid of a nude raccoon,
maybe I’ll tie his junk to a giant balloon.