I started the day as any other day
I spiked my hair and shaved my beard
I looked at the mirror and tried to see me
Tried to see what the others would see
But I couldn’t, for I knew what’s inside of me
I went to the mall to buy a new controller
A controller so I can have two for my game
Yet I searched the shop, and it was out of controllers
How come? Never mind, I’ll buy a fake one…
Well, I guess I’m used to fakeness now…
I went down to buy some stuff from the market
Juice… but where’s the juice that I always buy?
It’s gone… but where has it gone to? Never mind…
Time to buy some candy… but where has it gone too?
It was here, always here… how come it has gone?
Pushing the trolley in front of me… it’s too heavy
It’s hard to direct, as if it wants to go on its own
As if it wants to run away from me… well, what’s new?
Pushing it while trying to hide my tears… but…
Pushing it while trying to preserve the old strong image of me
Looking around me, at last some fruit… it looks nice
It also tastes nice… but it feels heavy; I can’t seem to carry much
“Do you want apples?” “No…” “Do you want melon?” “No…”
Why can’t I seem to say “Yes”? Is it that hard to pronounce it?
I guess now it is… now that I know what’s inside the rotten fruit…
Ah! The cash; at last I can go out… but this child…
Running after her mom, with the ice cream in her hand
Looks cute, I envy her… not for being careless…
But for having a guide… a guide who she can trust…
But never mind… time to exit… the time came; it’s near
But wait a second, where’s the exit? I can’t seem to find it
Oh… there it is, but why does it seem so dark outside?
Isn’t it morning? Isn’t sun shining at this time? Dark?
Our car… but there’s a car reversing… how much I wish it’d hit me
For it would either kill me and save me… or wake me up…
“Put the trolley in an empty car slot” Why would I?
Isn’t it too small to fit among the cars? Isn’t it “immature”?
While driving, a sign says “No trucks are allowed”, but why?
Is it because they are too strong to be with normal cars?
Why can’t I see a sign that says “No normal cars are allowed”?
A perfume is dropped on the ground… it looks horrible
Yet the scent still smells so sweet, so warm from the inside
Writing with a pencil… it’s not the wood that writes
It’s just this thing inside… this what so called graphite
I made a mistake… I want to erase it…
But the eraser is too smudged to erase again