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On My Own Terms

Casarah Nance Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled On My Own Terms which was written by poet Casarah Nance. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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On My Own Terms

Mama became sick when I was in sixth grade,
It was really hard to cope with sacrifices we made.
Kids were cruel and did not understand the reality,
Of a trying pathway now set out before Daddy and me.
I was picked on and laughed at, hair pulled, I was teased.
I let them laugh to my face, shoved down on broken knees.
Until the day I rose to fight, facing my bullies I fought tough.
I would never give in to bullies again, I became jagged and rough.

My spirit fought hard. Tears, love, experience, learns and yearns,
I'm living my life on my own terms!

Boys tried to take me on, take me out, and have me surrender.
I never let one kiss and tell, My purity would never dive under.
I met my prince charming for whom I had waited for a ring.
Years and years of waiting peacefully for love, joy it did bring.
While all my girlfriends partied hard, their lives fell off the spotlight.
I sat in the shadows quietly waiting, I shined when the time was right.
The first kiss was heaven, and every taste was even sweeter than before.
Two rings, three kids, a family, how could I have asked for more.

My spirit fought hard. Tears, love, experience, learns and yearns,
I'm loving my life on my own terms.

I started feeling something, deep inside my body, it grew,
I went to the doctors to confirm what I already knew.
Mama suffered so many years, I was too young but it came.
When I got the news of my sickness, nothing would be the same.
Children grown and married, husbands fingers worn to the bone.
No one should see me suffer, I put a payment on the headstone.
Softly I said my goodbyes, no one could stop me from my choice.
I wanted to say I love you, while I still had a strong, firm voice.

My spirit fought hard. Tears, love, experience, learns and yearns.
I'm leaving my life on my own terms.



08-17-2014
*fictional story, I have no feelings on the if suicide is okay speech, this story is just a character, it is what is it is.

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  1. Date: 8/18/2014 5:56:00 PM
    A powerful heartbreaking fictional poem.Though I was never bullied ,I passed through some hard time cause my dad got very ill with severe depression when my brother and I were so young.I am seven years older than my brother and somehow always felt responsible for him.Mum and I were there for eachother at all times.I really learnt to appreciate life and never let negativity drag me for too long.Never want to wear my dad's shoe,life is beautiful and every problem can be solved.Heartwrencing post.

    Nance Avatar Casarah Nance
    Date: 8/18/2014 6:55:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Hugs! We all have baggage and burdens to bear, I'm just tying to show through all these poems that it is real and it is nothing to be ashamed of, Living positive and happy at times maybe hard to do, but there is no struggle that someone else hasn't gone through, life is meant to be lived and loved, and thank you for doing it so beautifully charmaine :)
    Chircop Avatar Charmaine Chircop
    Date: 8/18/2014 5:57:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Cont'd- Really touched home : )..Excellent!
  1. Date: 8/18/2014 3:45:00 PM
    Casarah, this is a sad and powerful piece. I suppose it's a very touchy subject for people, but it does happen. Great job on the write sweetie. Take care my friend, Jess :)

    Nance Avatar Casarah Nance
    Date: 8/18/2014 5:00:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Jess, Good to see ya around today, Enjoy your night ;)
  1. Date: 8/18/2014 4:17:00 AM
    Had me in tears Casarah - an incredibly strong emotional write on an emotive subject:-( Hugs Jan xxx

    Allison Avatar Jan Allison
    Date: 8/18/2014 5:04:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    its incredibly powerful with such strong imagery Casarah you did brilliantly:-) Hugs jan xxx
    Nance Avatar Casarah Nance
    Date: 8/18/2014 5:01:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Hugs sweetie, don't cry, but if you do it just means I wrote it good. hugs sweetie xox
  1. Date: 8/18/2014 4:03:00 AM
    Horrible thoughts there Casarah yet an amazing write ! Footnote should be made the header else many wud miss their heartbeat my dear!

    Nance Avatar Casarah Nance
    Date: 8/18/2014 6:58:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks for reading my friend, so many stuggles in life, people just need to know everything will be okay in the end. Hugs
  1. Date: 8/18/2014 12:24:00 AM
    I loved this Cas, although I might have kissed you!!!! and gotten away with it too!!!!

    Nance Avatar Casarah Nance
    Date: 8/18/2014 6:56:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    xxMWAH xx
  1. Date: 8/17/2014 11:31:00 PM
    Cas...thanks for the footnote there. It would be horrible to think that you would contemplate suicide. I've been there myself...often. God knows the struggles we each bear. My Mama WAS sick...and as I child I grew up knowing she was going from bad to worse and would eventually die...Nothing is more painful...I have no words to describe it. All that aside...Your skill in writing shines in this piece, Cas. You are so talented. You evoke strong emotions in what you write! :)

    Nance Avatar Casarah Nance
    Date: 8/18/2014 6:53:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    There is a lot of my history in my poem which I will explore in other poems, this was mostly driven by the suicide of Robin Williams and him just finding out he had Parkinsons Disease. Hugs sweetie, xox
  1. Date: 8/17/2014 11:20:00 PM
    Wow Cas....a powerful write of a woman who knows exactly what she wants...hugs Tim

    Nance Avatar Casarah Nance
    Date: 8/18/2014 6:57:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    thanks tim. ;) i'm getting good at fictional stories