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Haiku- all comments welcome positive AND OR critical

Cyndi MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Haiku- all comments welcome positive AND OR critical which was written by poet Cyndi MacMillan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Haiku- all comments welcome positive AND OR critical

Picking blueberries,
just spilled, off the kitchen floor...
Damn these home harvests.

*Chose to capitalize this one, due to the monologue tone of this one. 
Same goes for the punctuation, very very very Western... 

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  1. Date: 1/27/2014 8:04:00 PM
    I like this Cyndi remove "the" in second line it throws out the syllable count apart from that near perfection Shadow x smile hug

  1. Date: 1/25/2014 8:31:00 PM
    Buying food at the shop is always easier, but not as rewarding.

  1. Date: 1/22/2014 4:02:00 PM
    not a haiku my dear #1no period it's meant to be an open ended moment #2 there's too much in it #3 line 3 is analytical not objective or sensory [blueberries spill/on the kitchen floor/] then you must leap! something which could be in the same 'frame' & is not cause & effect like [cat toys] then the reader would SEE the cat batting the blueberries all over the floor

  1. Date: 1/22/2014 1:18:00 AM
    Like and old Kansas curse, to hell with the floor, lets jump and bump. I like the lifestyle feel to this art Cyndi. J.A.B.

  1. Date: 1/21/2014 1:21:00 PM
    - Vitamin filled berry - pick up everyone - great haiku, Cyndi !!! - oxox // Anne-Lise :)

  1. Date: 1/21/2014 11:54:00 AM
    Bet your going to make some pretty amazing blueberry jam, heh! I wish I had half your brain, baby girl, stay well, xxx