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BEFORE EVENING AND AFTER

nette onclaud Avatar nette onclaud - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled BEFORE EVENING AND AFTER which was written by poet nette onclaud. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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BEFORE EVENING AND AFTER



Just last night, we disrobed our senses to the gush of rain and a trembling heater: stars bathing contours through a dance of flames as we explored soft rhythm between our curved hands travelling with shadows of a full moon aglow from the eyes of a window sill. And we spoke of eternity while waiting for candles to melt our floor, reading the waxed shapes like Vedic sutra of prophecy. I awoke from your early leaving to find a note on my lampshade, gently professing more nights, the fifth, it seems, of dream-like pleasure. Then you were gone. Later this morning, after soaking in thrilled afterglow, blithe steps carried me to the hallway where our eyes met accidentally. You were clothed in my oversized unisex tee, while the hint of blank look crossed over my transparent face; pale smile breezing away as if I were a stranger without a tag. My breath stopped ticking with visions of dark magic from evening’s moon, candles and window sills: you turned away as a fog unaware of my pang. Dear life, how I break.
~ fictional~ Last Night... This Morning Contest by nette onclaud

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  1. Date: 12/5/2013 1:33:00 PM
    It would have to be fiction...for no one would break such a lovely heart! ..congratulations on a wonderful win nette...

  1. Date: 12/1/2013 9:13:00 PM
    Sensual, Nette. Deep sense of loss and longing. You are a true artist. Congrats!

  1. Date: 11/30/2013 6:52:00 AM
    I remember reading this treasure, congrats on your win Nette, keep a writin datta girl xxx

  1. Date: 11/30/2013 4:36:00 AM
    Congratulations on bagging the contest, my eloquent friend. Well done. Have a great weekend ahead of you, Nette. Licia :-)

  1. Date: 11/30/2013 2:37:00 AM
    Beautifully done Nette! Well placed contrast. Congrats on your win!

  1. Date: 11/21/2013 4:33:00 PM
    This is very beautiful..I love the sad ending ..It makes it more deep and heartwrenching.Im glad its fiction dear.

  1. Date: 11/21/2013 1:52:00 AM
    Oooh-oooh, I love it when you go sensual. Smooth, flowing style, my friend. You do it well. Licia :-)

  1. Date: 11/20/2013 10:22:00 PM
    My dear Nette, if this were true, your heart would be broken for sure! I'm glad you stated that this write was fictional because otherwise I would feel sorrow for you! This poem did invoke sorrow within me as an emotion my friend, but the start was fanciful and delightful, I enjoyed the beginning 'truths'! I really enjoyed reading this masterful poem this evening my friend! What a brilliant piece, such a powerful poem, Great Work!!

  1. Date: 11/20/2013 10:27:00 AM
    Should be a scene in a movie--sensual and brings to mind Pretty Woman!

  1. Date: 11/20/2013 5:45:00 AM
    Expressive, passionate and emotive lines penned..Thanks for the visit to my page..Sara

  1. Date: 11/20/2013 2:55:00 AM
    A beautiful, sensitive write... This is one of the best poems Iv read, I totally love it!

  1. Date: 11/20/2013 1:31:00 AM
    I enjoyed this poem's gliding sensuality, yet with fragility as an afterglow. Delicate duality.

  1. Date: 11/19/2013 10:10:00 PM
    You weaved a very sensuous and romantic tail and just as quickly it was wrenched away with loss. Excellent write.

  1. Date: 11/19/2013 7:13:00 PM
    Nette, I'll fav this, it has a perfect dreamy quality to it, and also a real feel of reality, such skill, I can only admire from my end, you impress me xxx

  1. Date: 11/19/2013 3:59:00 PM
    So beautiful, Nette. Is this for the sensuous contest? It is breathtaking!

  1. Date: 11/19/2013 2:25:00 PM
    Beautifully sad work, one which I think many will relate with. Your words are precise and final---likewise, no debating here that this has a sensual air about it. I like that, Nette. A true poet of high caliber. Thank you for citing my piece in your last contest.

  1. Date: 11/19/2013 2:15:00 PM
    I loved it! --- I tend to believe that there was no other person on your perception/ description, but only "you". I enjoyed your philosophical, dramatic verse and beautiful word usage. Exceptional write! Congrats on your new poem. ------- I also wish to thank you for offering me high honors in your contest.. Many huggs, nette! :) G.

  1. Date: 11/19/2013 1:47:00 PM
    From ecstasy to sadness. A bittersweet melody flowing through your poem with fluent transition of contrasting scenes. Way over the top, Nette!

  1. Date: 11/19/2013 1:05:00 PM
    - We are influenced by many elements ..... can not do anything about it ..... let things come as they will come ... A poem for thought. - Proficient as always!! - oxox // Anne-Lise :)

  1. Date: 11/19/2013 12:31:00 PM
    But, but, I tried to call you the next morning...your phone was off! =P I promise I'll return with M&Ms, potato chips, & all 3 DVDs of The Chronicles of Narnia so we can watch it. =D All jokes aside, this was painfully magnificent. Such are the pros & cons of living in an incomplete fantasy...

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