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From Great Pain Comes Great Inspiration

Just That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled From Great Pain Comes Great Inspiration which was written by poet Just That Archaic Poet. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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From Great Pain Comes Great Inspiration

A total Jedi mind f*ck from Hell is what this is. I feel like a nuclear bomb has exploded in 
my mind of Hiroshima proportions and I am on the brink of a Chernobyl meltdown. 
Bewildered may be the best description of what I am feeling right now. I cannot process 
anything; I feel like I am in total and utter f*cking shock. I apologize for the expletives; 
I normally never curse when I write because I find it uncouth, but I have to get these 
feelings out; I know if I don't, I will want to cut, which is the last thing in the world I want to 
do. God knows I have enough scars; I don't need or want anymore.

From great pain comes great inspiration, I believe. Even though my mind is positively 
reeling at this very moment as I type, I feel exponentially inspired. I am completely 
overwhelmed emotionally, and I have just now stopped sobbing and weeping enough to 
write; to get these horrid feelings out of me.

Even the smallest of troubles or strife turn into absolute tragedy and catastrophe in my 
mind; I cannot help or control it, and God knows I wish I could. I "catastrophize" everything.

My best friend of 15 years just called me and told me she was moving to Alabama. I 
shouldn't even say "best friend" for she is more like a sister to me. Always, always she 
has been close by and been there for me as I have been for her, and now she is moving 
what seems like galaxies away from me, and the pain I am feeling is so tremendous and 
shocking; so unnerving and vexing and tormenting and afflicting...I could go on forever 
with melancholy and exasperating adjectives and descriptions. In my mind, she is dead 
and I am hosting the funeral in my brain. That's totally insane; I understand that, but at 
this moment I am NOT rational. For a moment after I stopped crying my eyes out, I 
almost felt catatonic. In my partner's arms, I just wept as he held me; I was shaking 
and shuddering furiously. I feel lost. I haven't felt this powerless or helpless since my 
grandparents died. She is moving away and there is nothing I can do about it. I am 
a horrible and selfish human being for I want her to stay, so desperate do I feel. 
Wendy, my sister, my best friend, my partner in crime; my cohort, consort, comrade, 
co-conspirator: you who know me best, inside and out, like a book...you are leaving me,
and my sorrow is swallowing me whole- devouring me like an angry, rabid beast. Don't 
go; don't leave me. With every fiber of my being I wish you to stay, but you've made up 
your mind and told me your decision at the worst possible time, when I am already too 
stressed to deal with or process this kind of pain and anguish in a healthy way. I'm ready 
to hit the bottles: whisky and Lortab. They will ease the pain and will quell the compulsion 
to cut.

This is the most personal blog I have written. I didn't know what else to do but turn this 
despair into words to help ease the heartache and suffering. If anyone cares, I need 
support right now. I need prayers and well wishes and good vibes; I am about to crumble 
to pieces. I feel like the proverbial rug has been pulled out from under my feet and I don't 
know what to do. This is the worst feeling in the world. Uncertainty is truly the worst of all 
ailments.

~Chan 

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  1. Date: 11/24/2013 2:50:00 AM
    btw, thanks for checking out some of my oldies. It is so late and I have too many poems to catch up on. Otherwise, I'd try to see more of yours.

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 11/24/2013 8:26:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    No worries at all, hon :)
  1. Date: 11/24/2013 2:49:00 AM
    oh hey, what a good idea, to post it over here too, since a lot of poets don't seem to care about our blogs. I think I remember this from when you blogged about it. . How have you been handling the loss lately. You will cope with it. I just know it.

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 11/24/2013 8:25:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I'm doing better; thanks for asking Andrea :)
  1. Date: 11/13/2013 6:28:00 PM
    Loss is the most difficult thing to go through in life. We have all been there before, and can sympathize with you. Just know that you have good friends right here, and we will help you get through anything. Because I believe that poetry is the best medicine for any problem that we may be facing! Amazing expression in this poem, BP! :)

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 11/15/2013 9:07:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks for the support and kind words, SP; much appreciated <3 :)
  1. Date: 11/8/2013 10:31:00 PM
    I'm sorry to hear you were feeling down. But I do hope with encouragement you've been able to weather the storm. Enjoyed perusing your wonderful thoughts as always friend :).

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 11/9/2013 5:40:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, Mustapha! My friend really rallied behind me and have helped me weather this emotional storm. Glad to hear from you, my friend! :)
  1. Date: 11/7/2013 2:00:00 AM
    Hey, Tap, I don't spend much time in this forum, thus I'm only reading your poem now. I see from your comments you're over the worst. My friend, my heart bleeds for you. Cry all you may but know that you're dearly, dearly loved on Soup. From great pain does come inspiration - and constipation. Dry your tears and down some prune juice. Love you, guy. Licia :-)

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 11/8/2013 5:23:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Delysia, I always love when you drop by. You always have something interesting, funny, insightful or encouraging to say and I appreciate that. Thanks for reading and replying, sweetheart :)
  1. Date: 11/6/2013 12:52:00 PM
    I just want to take this opportunity to thank you all in one post. The outpouring of love, kindness, encouragement and support has meant the world to me and I sincerely appreciate that so many people came to my rescue. You are all wonderful people and I am blessed to have you all in my life. Thank you a million times over for all the love and support; it has made such a difference and helped me more than you'll ever know <3 Chan

  1. Date: 11/6/2013 12:12:00 PM
    Oh....I'm so sorry to know that you are doing through such gut wrenching pain....I don't do well with seperation either....Yes...let it all out but please...try not to harm youself...We all try to medicate pain differently...I'm on medication....I know what it's like when that dark cloud rolls in...The sun is still there, Chan. You WILL survive this and will use tevhnology to keep that bond...Distance cannot overcome bonds of love. DON'T LET IT!!!! hugs....blessings...

  1. Date: 11/6/2013 9:49:00 AM
    So sorry you are feeling this pain. Fortunately we live in a time of technology that allows us to maintain significant bonds even at great distances. Your friendship can be maintained and continue to flourish. I will pray for your strength.

  1. Date: 11/6/2013 7:19:00 AM
    Great write my friend! All the best! Your souper-friend! Love,love,love! :-) - Den

  1. Date: 11/6/2013 4:02:00 AM
    I have been down in that black pit as well Chan...just try to hang on and find comfort in small treasures and measures of light...so sorry you are feeling this way and hope that dark cloud soon lifts.

  1. Date: 11/5/2013 9:09:00 PM
    as always a finely written.

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 11/5/2013 10:01:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I appreciate that, Kiran. Sorry for the format; I don't know why it came out that way. I tried to fix it to no avail. Thanks for the read and reply :)
  1. Date: 11/5/2013 7:12:00 PM
    p.s. it must have taken great courage to share yourself this way, anyone with this amount of courage, can surely rise above, I pray that you will, love and genuine, caring thoughts are being sent via, mind telepathy xxx

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 11/5/2013 10:06:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I didn't know what else to do but write. it's amazing how therapeutic writing down your emotions can be. It helped me vent and channel all the hurt. Thank you again and again for the kind words and encouragement <3
  1. Date: 11/5/2013 7:10:00 PM
    I am sending you vibes of comfort, healing and strength, so sorry to hear about your loss, dearest Chan, know this, somewhere in the corner of your tender heart, there is a little door, it opens every so slowly but when it does, you'll find, she is tucked away there, where she will never really leave as long as you remember her, and the golden friendships you have forged, hugs xxx

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 11/5/2013 10:04:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Your kind words of love and support and empathy have helped me more than you can ever know, Rose. It has meant the world to me. Thank you; I am well beyond grateful. I appreciate the love and support so very much <3