Yet, there at the table…I couldn't help but sway and dance in my seat. Yes, dance while throwing my black mane out behind me, my arms moving in sync with the beat. My students looked at me and smiled, surprised to see this "crazy" side of me. I smiled, mouthing the words of the songs and blowing kisses. If only they knew that I had been a beauty too.
Thankfully, Lina had to leave early. She had two young boys waiting at home. I tried to avoid all the picture taking, so I walked on ahead of her, trying very hard not to dance to the music that was filling the hall, but it was not to be. My students wouldn't let me go. “Dance,” they pleaded….and I did! As they gathered around, I did a few of “my moves”…smiling and feeling exhilarated…free. They loved it. I loved it. A moment of youth...captured, seized, lived....
Nobody saw me in the car on the way home, fighting to hold back the tears. Not wanting Lina to know I was about to cry, I turned to look out the window. Now, finally, here I am at home, pouring my heart out to you. Where is the woman I used to be? Where is that beautiful sultry me? I want to recapture who I was…beautiful, slim, vibrant, gregarious, lively, passionate, fun loving…I want to be free! I want to be ME!
Eileen Manassian Ghali