It's been monthes since my lips tasted the bitterness of alcohol
I found myself craving the excitement, the taste within my memory
and for a moment when he had asked if I wanted to go out for a few drinks
It was all that I could d to reply,
I do not drink..
Well, maybe then lunch?
As I accepted
Then I failed to call him back to set a time
Thinking the whole while,
Do I realy want to go out with someone who drinks??
Perhaps it is not in my best interest
but reluctantly turning my eyes away from the very clean cut fellow,
simply wanting to get to know me
And what do I really want?
I found the support at a womens meeting that I went to this evening
and I guess this is more of a journal entry than anything.
I've been sober for over three monthes now
My life before had become so unmangable
so many people wanted nothing to do with me
My emotions were like a roller coaster
As I work on my sobriety I know its foolish to think I can do this by myself
So I look to you Oh God, and I hand it all to you, for I am powerless, and cannot do this on my own
You are worthy and I know my steps will be guided by you each and every day, if I allow you to take control of my pittiful life that I have flawfully lead
Teach me to do the right thing even when it is uncomfortable to do so
Let me trust in You, let me wake with reasurrance that good things can and will come to me, because I am Your Child
And lastly, let me quit chasing the things that anguish and my life.. And put away these childish ways that hinder
If you are reading this.. I hope that in some way it will help someone else...
As a writer I try to be creative many times but there comes a point in time where honesty is relevant.
Have a blessed evening, Cindy