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by Gary Player

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  1. Date: 9/23/2013 1:41:00 AM
    Cherl: I congratulate you for the rich and rhetoric content of your free verses. Your verse is one, almost easy, step behind what is called "Blank Verse" (((= unrhymed verse, especially the unrhymed iambic pentameter most frequently used in English dramatic, epic, and reflective verse. ))) I would like to propose blank verse - Iambic tetrameter to start with, ((taDa, taDA, taDA, taDA)), since your poetic structure encourages this style. Here is an example: A rendering of 7 lines taken from your text:

    A. V. Avatar Giorgio A. V.
    Date: 9/23/2013 1:43:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    fresh redden drips will over flow. ---- with fiendish her delight she smiles ---- At twilight’s hour, she'll dance upon ---- her ancestors' unlighted graves ---- the Queen has risen of the dammed ---- Bow thee, and kiss her saddled feet, ---- no prisoners alive she takes ----- --------------------------- The poem will become metrical and more impressive. Please, consider my suggestion. :) G.
  1. Date: 9/22/2013 1:32:00 AM
    Excellent. Well imagery write. Enjoyed reading it. Tfs

  1. Date: 9/18/2013 9:03:00 PM
    Hi Cheri, wow.. when I read the title.. I was fickle by it.. I just seen the movie 3 weeks ago. About your poem: Just as I thought, darkness, deceits angel of death. The imagery is gripping and pulled me in to twice. I have to say,,, I will pray tonight,... Never would I want that sunrise taken from me.. I got a cross by my bed side.. Not that it would help... heheh.. enjoyed this one very much. thank you for inviting me on over.. please do any time you like.. always~ Linda