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Irresponsibility Day

Drake Eszes Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Irresponsibility Day which was written by poet Drake Eszes. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Irresponsibility Day

5:11am
I wake up to my TV blasting episodes of Woody Woodpecker.

I wipe my encrusted eyes, which had a field day in that dream I had
Involving two Swedish women, a Latin princess
With curvaceous hips that could save me if I ever fell from mountain climbing,
A Sony boom box made in 1984 playing Duran Duran,
And empty boxes of Junior Mints, M&M Peanuts, & Cool Whip.

I walk to my front door to discover hundreds of blood lettered Post-It notes
Slid under by my friendly Mafia neighbors, 
“Turn that crap down or say ‘HOLA’ to my little friend! Woody sucks! ”

5:45am:
So, instead of apologizing, I grabbed my power drill
Which I bought off this Mexican guy named Bob
Standing in front of my local Home Depot,

I thanked each of my neighbors by drilling Wal-Mart smiley faces
Smoking Cuban cigars & holding Shotguns
Into their doors

At this point, I popped in some Belgian waffles & French Toast sticks
Into my Cookie Monster toaster oven and turned on the news.

What was I thinking?!

News reports on Sugar Daddies being harassed by stalking gold-diggers,
Another asinine Final Destination movie,
More teacher-student scandals,
Celebrity break-ups & pregnancies
Oh, how the sheep live vicariously through them

Where’s that damn noose I bought off Bob?!

610am:
To remove my early morning frustrations,
I turned on my Xbox 360 and popped in Guitar Hero
In which I jammed out to Stevie Wonder’s Superstitious
While performing Riverdance on my hardwood floor

The neighbors below me added a nice, rhythmic sound with their broomsticks.

7am:
After my Pilates workout, I decided to strip off my clothes
So I can feel FREE like a Tree-hugging barn swallow
And fill my bathtub with a bottle of Tickle Me Elmo Bubble Bath liquid,
Which I also bought off Bob

Shortly after, I yelled “THIS IS SPARTA!” and performed a belly flop into the tub…

2pm:
After waking up from my concussion, I laughed maniacally
With my face underwater
My laughs were heard through the popping bubbles rising to water’s surface

I passed out again with a drumming thud against my porcelain dreams.

7pm:
Second attempt at recovery, SUCCESS!

I gathered all my utility bills
A filled, plastic gas tank, another purchase from Bob
And a Jerry Garcia branded lighter

As inferno warmed my screaming loins,
Blasting John Lennon’s “Imagine” on my 8-Track,
The local Fire department sliced my front door
With titanium axe and an inscription: “Here’s Johnny”

As hundreds of angry firemen & neighbors stampede into my child-like day

*CLICK*

3pm, Day Unknown:
I awaken with lines imprinted on my Latin cheeks
From wooden office desk
Strange stares from coworkers
With “I’m all out of Love” playing on the faded, company radio

And a post-it note, “Come see me in my office”,
From Bob

©Drake J. Eszes

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  1. Date: 10/17/2013 9:55:00 AM
    It was fun reading this one again. No a different Bob than mine, I wish I would have been clever enough to think of it.

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 10/18/2013 2:40:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Ahhhh, I figured as much. =D
  1. Date: 10/11/2013 11:45:00 AM
    AWESOME!!!!! This is too funny!!! It brightened my day!!!

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 10/11/2013 12:35:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Hey there, Angelica! =D Thank you so very much! Very cool of you to stop by!
  1. Date: 10/10/2013 10:46:00 AM
    Hello Drake, Thank you for your comment and warm welcome. So happy my poem brought you back to our wonderful Island. I so enjoyed and got a great kick reading your Irresposibility Day. It was like watching a TV show. Nice to meet you. Jen

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 10/10/2013 10:49:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Hey Jen!!! Very cool of you to stop by here! :) Ah, I'll read about Puerto Rico all damn day! Thanks so much!
  1. Date: 9/24/2013 2:15:00 PM
    say HOLA to my little friend.lol forever.

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/24/2013 3:15:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    HAHHAHA! Smooth! Thanks, John.
  1. Date: 9/24/2013 1:08:00 PM
    I give you a 7 for this one. You really know how to dream. Therest of the poem is funny, but take a vacation. Have a nice day today..... Lucilla

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/24/2013 3:15:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Heh, thank you, Lucilla! :) I'll consider that.
  1. Date: 9/24/2013 8:04:00 AM
    Boy......I really think you gotta get out of the city man....things are getting serious!.....:-) haha Very funny write Drake...thanks for making me smile this morning....

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/24/2013 8:08:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    HA! Indeed! =D I'm always game for a road trip. I'm glad to make you smile! YAY!
  1. Date: 9/22/2013 1:19:00 PM
    Fantastic and funny. I had to stop a couple of times to quit laughing. Great images, especially 6:10am. Loved it!

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/22/2013 7:52:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    YAY! 610am was just a disaster. lol Thank you so much, Monterey!
  1. Date: 9/20/2013 7:41:00 AM
    Half the fun is coming back to read the comments.

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/20/2013 7:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Indeed! =D
  1. Date: 9/19/2013 5:59:00 PM
    Hahahaha, Tickle Me Elmo bubble bath- I love it! This is such a fun and humorous read, Drake. Quite a pleasure to stop by your poetry today! Hugs. :)

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/20/2013 7:27:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Hey there, stranger Anne! This is a plesant surprise! =D It's been awhile! I'm quite glad you enjoyed this.
  1. Date: 9/19/2013 3:40:00 PM
    That is sooooooooo funny! I am exhausted just reading it. Good one... Betty

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/19/2013 4:18:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Awesome! YAY! Thanks so much, Betty!
  1. Date: 9/19/2013 11:35:00 AM
    This is funny... Sounds like you feel asleep at work. Them damn M&M's will do you like that every time!

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/19/2013 4:18:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Hee hee. I can't confirm or deny sir. :) Thanks so much, Scribe! All hail M&Ms!
  1. Date: 9/19/2013 10:10:00 AM
    soupmail :)

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/19/2013 4:17:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    :)
  1. Date: 9/19/2013 7:37:00 AM
    Damn, what a day you had. I sorta remember one like it in 1968, but I could be mistaken. I think I need to get to know Bob, apparently the source of all things illicit and spooky. Fun stuff, Drake. I always enjoy your writing. Jack

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/19/2013 8:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    HA! I know, right? :) Thanks so much, Jack!
  1. Date: 9/19/2013 2:40:00 AM
    Hi Drake, thanks for taking the time to comment on my poem. I was at work when I heard about it all painfully unfold. I've been fortunate to spend some time in NY, 4 visits. I've had a good look around and have found it to be the most inspiring of places. My wife and I are big fans. I liked this poem, have a nice day!..Leigh I liked this piece very descriptive, Leigh

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/19/2013 6:21:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I understand that. Thanks very much, Leigh.
  1. Date: 9/18/2013 7:20:00 PM
    lol...this was too funny...one can only imagine this all happening through your vivid images...what a day? brilliantly penned poem! Thanks for the giggles :)

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/18/2013 7:32:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    'Tis an awesome day. =) Thank you so much, Sandra!
  1. Date: 9/18/2013 5:53:00 PM
    This was a trip !! I am laughing my a-- off, trying to keep up with the hours of your day, trying hard not to imagine you in a tub with "tickle me, Elmo bubbles.....omg.......hysterical is your imagination.( or is it???......maybe the real you is written between the tongue in cheek?? LOL !! Loved this romp!

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/18/2013 7:32:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Imagination...maybe? ;-) Inquiring minds wanna know. =D I'm so glad to get you laughing. That makes me so happy! Thank you so much, Carrie.
  1. Date: 9/18/2013 3:42:00 PM
    I read it fast; I read it slow; I read aloud. Now I'm reading it upside down!!!

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/18/2013 7:29:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Well, lovely! :) Thanks for stopping by!
  1. Date: 9/18/2013 2:45:00 PM
    yipers, i was a workhorse for days.. so, for me, this is a big explosion of m &m's, lays chips and sleep-all day crimes ( include retail therapy as well), drake...sleeping earlier now like 1 or 2am, when able.. what a get-away vibe this one exudes!..:) huggs

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/18/2013 3:29:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    LOL! Awesome! I like how you think. =D Thank you dearly, Nette!
  1. Date: 9/18/2013 8:56:00 AM
    i am indeed honoured to read this Drake, not been around much lately due to time restrictions, but i have sure missed a wondrous poet, and will spend some hours catching up, on what i've missed,, as for this poem, poet, amazing

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/18/2013 3:28:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Hey Harry!!! How are you doing sir? It's cool to see you back around again. Many thanks for your feedback! :)
  1. Date: 9/18/2013 8:27:00 AM
    Now that my friend is entertainment! So good I read it twice!

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes
    Date: 9/18/2013 8:51:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    WOO HOO! Thanks, Richard!
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