Soon as I get in the place others would call home
I can’t stop thinking what to do to not feel so alone
My father…yeah, he calls me sometimes son
When I see him drinking each day I want to be gone
And I pray all day and night for death to come
No one can save me, hear me Lord, no one.
I can’t socialize because all I hear is lies
Don’t know what would I say in a girls eyes
If I gave her my trust will she betray me
Should I kiss and hold her softly like an angel
Or should I **** her and tell her thank you
Have to go see a doctor, that’s what they all tell me
Will the doc stop alcoholics from drinking?
Will I have a better job and a better life?
Will the pills finally do what they are made for?
Walking in a cemetery recently, for the silence
Thinking about the people who loved me
Never knew my grandmother only that she was amazing
She said she’ll live until I will be born
Life isn’t fair but who ever loves me leaves or dies
The answer is death and it’s stuck in my head
When I’m crying my eyes out in this bed
Tired and depressed, unshaved and uncut
Disaster picture for a young man in these times
But I don’t care about what others think
As I’m standing in the bathroom above the sink
Looking in the mirror unpacking a blade
I see my wrists, tattoos, was already made
So, I sit down and start all over again to cry
I have the wish but not the power for suicide
Maybe it’s not the right time now, next time
I do whatever is best for me, this life was mine.