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Mystic Moon

Kelly Deschler Avatar Kelly Deschler - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Mystic Moon which was written by poet Kelly Deschler. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Mystic Moon

Care not I for the day at noon, 
   air filled with the humidity of June,
      Where is my full mystic moon, 
         share your golden radiance with me soon,
            Bear witness to a lonely cricket's tune, 
               there you shine on every land, lake and dune.

Will the man in the moon smile bright?, 
   hill, tree and meadow are bathed in night,
      Kill and extinguish the cloudy starlight, 
         sill of my window glowing luminous white,
            Still is my heart as I see a glorious sight, 
               fills the sky as it reaches it's height.

Why wait there and make me weep?, 
   shy and slowly over the mountain top creep,
      I thought that you were fast asleep, 
         my wandering gaze I shall forever keep,
            Thy orange coloring is rich and deep, 
               by the time of the fall harvest reap.

It is time to play freely and escape,
   visit me shrouded with a sheer silver drape,
       Quit hiding and rise in a crescent shape,
          sit above every blue snow, lagoon and cape,
             Lit orbs eclipse, hued like a purple grape, 
                permit my wish and my mouth shall gape.

Make the night as bright as day, 
   lake waves seem to shimmer a silver-gray,
      Break through the horizon, if you may, 
         opaque pearl that evokes a wolves' bay,
            Wake early and until dawn, stay, 
               take all of my melancholy feelings away.

You mystify me as you wax and wane, 
   knew this waiting would drive me insane,
      Do illuminate, please do not refrain, 
         too many evenings have ended in rain,
            New moons alight every street, road and lane, 
               blue light now gleaming in my window pane.

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  1. Date: 11/27/2013 7:29:00 PM

    Kelly This is a stunning write. The imagery and description you used takes me on a journey to this beautiful moon in the sky and the peacefulness it brings. Nice job Thanks for the great and insightful comment on my Gentleness poem

  1. Date: 11/6/2013 9:04:00 PM

    Kelly, , this is a pretty deep Blame It On The Moon poem.... congrats... LOVE ~SKAT~

  1. Date: 11/3/2013 1:33:00 AM

    what a wonderful poem. I love the way you have styled this one. Wonderful words as always Kelly =)

  1. Date: 11/2/2013 6:23:00 PM

    Great rhyming. Congratulations. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 11/2/2013 12:08:00 PM

    What a stunning tribute to the moon! Congrats on your win

  1. Date: 11/1/2013 6:26:00 PM

    Even the format is beautiful.......just as is ever verse!! This is wonderful, Kelly.....congratulations!

  1. Date: 11/1/2013 6:07:00 PM

    Congrats on your winning work..Way to go ..Sara

  1. Date: 11/1/2013 5:45:00 PM

    beautifully penned Kelly...congrats on your win :)

  1. Date: 11/1/2013 7:25:00 AM

    Congratulations Kelly lovely piece xx

  1. Date: 10/10/2013 8:33:00 PM

    Hi Kelly, , congrats with your winning poem in the rhyme battle.... xox~ LINDA

  1. Date: 10/9/2013 6:10:00 PM

    Kelly, a BIG congrats on your rhyme battle win! Beautiful...Well done!! Love and Blessings, Rhonda

  1. Date: 10/8/2013 8:27:00 PM

    Hello Kelly, awesome rhyme battle win.............SKAT

  1. Date: 10/6/2013 8:15:00 PM

    Nicely done. Congratulations on your win

  1. Date: 10/6/2013 7:42:00 PM

    Great rhyme! Congratulations in my contest, thank you for sharing your poem with me. Love, Juli-Michelle

  1. Date: 9/6/2013 12:35:00 PM

    The end of v. 3 is somewhat strange because harvest and reap are nearly the same word. You could try, "by the time that the harvester's reap" and that would give a people visual, maybe grain and pumpkins. ~ the end of v. 4 seems rather out of the blue, but that could just be me. ~ Sorry I have more critique than praise, but I only critique poems that I really like, and this was sure one of them!

  1. Date: 9/6/2013 12:27:00 PM

    3. I am somewhat mystified by the meaning of 'kill and extinguish", as well as wondering how it suits the mood of the poem at this point. 4. "?" after weep. 5. Perhaps "Quit"? 6. I positively adore v. 5. Good Job!

  1. Date: 9/6/2013 12:24:00 PM

    First off, this is a really good poem! Must have taken a long time to write with all those rhymes. I believe your form would simply be 'rhyme'. I would recommend a few changes in the rhythm, but that is personal preference, so I won't share them unless you are interested. As far as the poem goes, there are a few places that seem to me rather awkward because of the rhyme limitations. I would try "Hot and humid air of June" 2. You need a "?" after bright.

  1. Date: 9/4/2013 9:12:00 PM

    HI Kelly, Well crafted write depicting the mystique of the moon as well as nice rhyme flow...Thanks for visiting my work.. Ken

  1. Date: 9/4/2013 2:15:00 PM

    VERY ENJOYABLE PIECE OF WRITING

  1. Date: 9/4/2013 9:31:00 AM

    "blue light now gleaming in my window" Good line! Thanks you for your kind words! Peace & Love Matthew Anish

  1. Date: 9/4/2013 2:19:00 AM

    Mystified and adored your Mystic Moon. Eloquent work. G.

  1. Date: 9/4/2013 12:50:00 AM

    I am swaying to and fro, moving sideway to and fro, rocking my body to and fro, you are the reason for my to and fro!

    Morgan Avatar Danesh Morgan Date: 10/6/2013 11:13:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Congrats on your win Miss.Kelly
  1. Date: 9/3/2013 11:30:00 PM

    Fabulous work Kelly. Your poem exudes with tremendous beauty. With impeccable rhyme and rhythm it is a joy to peruse for each reader.

  1. Date: 9/3/2013 6:20:00 PM

    Kelly, this is phenomenal. Brilliant lines, magnificent imagery and just all around stupendous talent. I was totally captivated all the way through :)

  1. Date: 9/3/2013 5:18:00 PM

    This is absolutely terrific. A vital message in not holding back the heart's declaration to another. Placing a priceless value on what a "moment" really is, when it comes to matters of the heart. Wonderful stuff!

  1. Date: 9/3/2013 4:41:00 PM

    Hi Kelly, "This is amazing, wonderfully written with great flow and rhyme." The last 4 lines are absolutely perfect. If only we could stop and stare without falling in love with the moon,, then maybe we could identify the mystic that lights every wonder at night. Great write :) thank you for stopping by my work.. always your newest fan.. Linda