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Sijo 1

Cyndi MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Sijo 1 which was written by poet Cyndi MacMillan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Sijo 1

A thousand words of repulsion, 
               the new maiko swallows. 
Beneath that mask of ivory, 
               a blush remains hidden.
Kyoto’s modern men treasure 
               their hunger for tradition. 

** A modern, Western sijo (6 lines) and I failed to give this the lyrical “tone” it should have. I really struggled with this form. 
*** Inspired by this:

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  1. Date: 9/8/2013 9:41:00 PM
    good effort Congrats on your win. Morgan

  1. Date: 9/7/2013 9:08:00 PM
    nice win....SKAT

  1. Date: 9/7/2013 7:58:00 PM
    congrats on your win with this fine poem

  1. Date: 9/7/2013 6:48:00 PM
    So true......~And quite fascinating to watch the video ! A life that is hard to imagine....and yet has thrived the decades. !! Well done, Cyndi!

  1. Date: 9/7/2013 6:02:00 PM
    Lines one and two hit the mark for me line three made it feel to 'literal?' Hope all is well and you are settling in? How's my Verity? Congrad's on your win. Light & Love

  1. Date: 9/7/2013 1:51:00 PM
    cyn!... this was splendidly crafted, ever flowing with footnotes to guide me through... warm congrats and hope you are adjusting well in your new environ.. how are you?.. sweet congrats!..:) huggs

  1. Date: 9/7/2013 7:02:00 AM
    I have little understanding of the form but I enjoyed the poem very much. Congratulations.

  1. Date: 9/6/2013 11:06:00 PM
    Sijo is difficult to do but you took the challenge and did very well with it, Cyndi. I love the lines about the blush underneath the ivory!! Congrats for your win. See so little of you these days. Dang!!!

  1. Date: 9/6/2013 7:31:00 PM
    Congratulations Cyndi love xx

  1. Date: 9/6/2013 2:59:00 PM
    Congrats on your winning work..Sara

  1. Date: 8/25/2013 7:43:00 AM
    I enjoyed it Cyndi I am not familar with the form it reads well Shadow x smile