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Bed of Clouds

Just That Archaic Poet Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Bed of Clouds which was written by poet Just That Archaic Poet. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Bed of Clouds

The Moon is just a silver scarf,
As the Sun is just a Jewel
Glowing above us, overhead
Lighting the way for ev'ry Fool
Rainbows envelop me, on this bed of clouds
As the colours bring me back to life
Let go of Hope in all my Sadness-
My Soul of Gold, I twist the knife

**COLORS CONTEST ENTRY

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  1. Date: 12/20/2013 5:07:00 PM
    Chan my friend What a pretty and enchanting write. Full of imagery and description that pulls me into this story/journey Nice job Thanks for the awesome comment on my Stolen Hearts poem Hugs and Love Sweet Pea

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 12/21/2013 8:01:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks as always, Sweet Pea :)
  1. Date: 10/25/2013 3:13:00 PM
    A deeply emotional poem, very beautiful! A very relaxing poem to read. Nicely done! Congratulations on your win in the "Colors" contest!

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 10/26/2013 7:01:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks as always, SP; very much appreciated <3
  1. Date: 10/17/2013 10:16:00 PM
    Outstanding for the contest. Congrats!

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 10/18/2013 10:17:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, hon <3 :)
  1. Date: 10/16/2013 9:21:00 PM
    very pretty...PD

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 10/17/2013 8:37:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, PD :)
  1. Date: 10/15/2013 10:12:00 PM
    ...............Congratulations! --LOVE-- ~SKAT~

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 10/16/2013 7:48:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks for the honorable mention, Skat! :)
  1. Date: 9/13/2013 7:13:00 PM
    Enjoyed your poem. I also enjoyed your comment to Richard also. It illuminated the first four lines.

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 9/14/2013 11:13:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    It makes me happy that you enjoyed this piece, Jon; thank you for the read and review :)
  1. Date: 8/22/2013 7:23:00 PM
    You changed the rhyme scheme and the poem lost it's flow. Loved the first four lines.

    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 8/22/2013 9:11:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    The first line was actually inspired by a tragic event. It was a story told to me, you know, one of those "friend of a friend" type stories about a guy on LSD who thought the moon was a silver scarf and swam into the ocean after it and drowned.
    That Archaic Poet Avatar Just That Archaic Poet
    Date: 8/22/2013 9:09:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    You think? I've been re-reading it, and I think line 5 might be the only problematic part. Ok, I've been thinking about it a bit more, and I think, perhaps, the last 4 lines may be a bit forced.