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Birds in flight edited

S.zaynub Kamoonpuri Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Birds in flight edited which was written by poet S.zaynub Kamoonpuri. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Birds in flight edited

As black as my birdlover poet's 
pen ink hue in hue
A rook and a raven flew flew 
flew
when the wind it breezily blew 
blew blew
and blustery became the view 
view view

An albatross then gracefully 
took to the air
and for hours it seemed to 
linger there
O' birds of flight your secrets 
tell
and if you know which of us
had end up in heaven or hell?
For isn't all is well that ends 
well?
Lets pray there ain't hell's murk 
but Eden's light 
at the end of the tunnel!

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  1. Date: 5/11/2014 8:08:00 AM
    I whole heartedly agree with, may it all end in light. Well said, and a winner too I take it. Congrats.

  1. Date: 1/31/2014 1:23:00 AM
    Heaven is where I want to go too, I'll probably be looking out to birds now for a signal :) Nice write!!!

  1. Date: 1/29/2014 9:31:00 AM
    Well expressed, congrats.

  1. Date: 1/29/2014 6:44:00 AM
    Wonderful poem and congrats on the fine win, Zaynub

  1. Date: 1/29/2014 12:26:00 AM
    Lovely poem S.zaynub! I love the imagery of the birds and how you've related it to poetry. It's easy to take flight but what awaits us at the end of the tunnel is what may determine our destination in life. Well written poem.

  1. Date: 12/5/2013 4:40:00 PM
    Nicely written Zanyub, It would be lovely to fly like a bird, especially an Albatross. I have no interest in Heaven or Hell. I just try to make my heaven on earth. So many are living in hell here on earth. Love your poem....peter

  1. Date: 8/24/2013 4:34:00 PM
    An albatross... seemed to linger there!

  1. Date: 8/6/2013 6:44:00 AM
    Another great read, the imagery of the birds is great, I pray heaven is where I am bound, enjoyed this poem, blessings sueellen

  1. Date: 8/6/2013 2:38:00 AM
    ( and blustery became the view view view ) How are you? I hope well. G.

    A. V. Avatar Giorgio A. V.
    Date: 8/6/2013 3:10:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    This is NOT "Nazm".
  1. Date: 7/31/2013 5:01:00 PM
    Beautiful poem S. !!! Different form for me ,but I like this very much. Music in poetry. Anne

  1. Date: 7/30/2013 11:33:00 AM
    you feel my heart with hope, S...you collect words and mold them into a beautiful piece of art..:) huggs

    onclaud Avatar nette onclaud
    Date: 8/6/2013 4:47:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    did we use the correct form of nazam?..
  1. Date: 7/30/2013 9:54:00 AM
    NICE POETRY

  1. Date: 7/30/2013 6:42:00 AM
    I like the poetry form and the rhyme scheme. Very different and refreshing. :)

  1. Date: 7/30/2013 1:17:00 AM
    hew / flew / blew ....according to me is not a tight texture for the poem , do not mind , i tell the truth what i thik about the poem .. rest is marvellous ! keep writing .

  1. Date: 7/29/2013 6:36:00 AM
    The above Nazam depicts a realistic approach of a man who loves to know all secret of vital energy necessary for destination other than what a common man wishes to... The verses are powerful and majestically woven...

  1. Date: 7/29/2013 5:39:00 AM
    Indeed, let's pray for Eden. Lovely..Betty