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Laugh With Jack Number 3

Jack Ellison Avatar Jack Ellison - LIFETIME Premium Member Jack Ellison - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Laugh With Jack Number 3 which was written by poet Jack Ellison. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Laugh With Jack Number 3



Ninety-seven percent of all U.S. currency Contains a trace amount of cocaine Sniffing your George Washington's every day Causes a mellowing of the brain If we were able to live on Planet Mercury Each year is only 88 days there Well holy kadoodle, at that astounding rate I'd be 300 and still have my hair The world record for the most babies born By one woman is sixty-nine My guess is she was perpetually pregnant Imagine all the washing on her line They say a broken clock is always right A couple of times every day If you're having trouble figuring that one out You should seek some help I'd say The G in “g-string” that those dancers wear Stands for “groin” I've heard it said But if a dancer weighs over 300 pounds It would stand for “gross” instead Way back when, nagging wives were punished By being forced to wear a bridle Think I'll refrain from commenting here For fear of serious reprisals The male praying mantis cannot copulate While it's head is still attached So the female accommodates by ripping it off So much for a possible rematch Although they may not want to admit it Women fart as much as men But they fart in a much more ladylike fashion And never lift their leg or bend © Jack Ellison 2013

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  1. Date: 7/19/2013 1:08:00 PM
    nicely done

    Ellison Avatar Jack Ellison
    Date: 7/21/2013 7:00:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thank you my good friend! Cheers, Jack
  1. Date: 7/19/2013 12:13:00 PM
    it's all i can do mto keep from laughing. groin? huh?

    Ellison Avatar Jack Ellison
    Date: 7/21/2013 7:00:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Keep on a-laughing, it's good for the soul!
  1. Date: 7/19/2013 8:28:00 AM
    You had me dying over here! A great way to start my Friday morning! Also, for the dollar bills & cocaine, that's why I use my Debit card. I'm Drug Free! =D

    Ellison Avatar Jack Ellison
    Date: 7/21/2013 6:59:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    LOL Happy to hear it! Jack
  1. Date: 7/19/2013 7:58:00 AM
    Now you've done it... Dragon got out my old horse bridle... and is looking at me... I see a time out at the lake coming on... LOL

    Ellison Avatar Jack Ellison
    Date: 7/21/2013 6:58:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Run for your life Carol!!!
  1. Date: 7/19/2013 6:09:00 AM
    I love this Jack, this is a tremendous write my friend! I really loved reading this enlightening poem this morning! You have delighted me with the g-string stanza, how it stands for "gross" if she's over 300 lbs, ha ha ha, oh that's terrible, what an awful thought! What a brilliant piece, Great Work!!

    Ellison Avatar Jack Ellison
    Date: 7/21/2013 6:57:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    About the "g-string", I just let my imagination do the talking! LOL