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Eskimo Nell and the Door Repair Man

Richard D Seal Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Eskimo Nell and the Door Repair Man which was written by poet Richard D Seal. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Eskimo Nell and the Door Repair Man

For Andrea’s contest 
Show me the Funny (part two)

Eskimo Nell & the Door Repair Man

Now Eskimo Nell 
Has a story to tell
A tale, about my last visit
Into her igloo
I went through and through
Though this entrance I’m told is illicit

She said, “Just for you
That one will do
Coz the wind, it chills to the core
Me back gets stone froze
When whoever, God knows
Is hammering, at the front door”

I told her, “Thank you”
And with no more ado
I slammed that back door with some might
I was grateful to seize 
Some relief from the freeze
And discover it fitted so tight

She said she was pleased
That it had come un-seized
For some of her clients she thought
Preferred the back door
Where nobody saw
They were doing what they hadn’t ought

“I’d keep it well oiled
Coz you don’t want it spoiled
As it sure gets a great deal of use
So if it gets dry
You’ll find standing by
This bottle of lubricant juice” 

Then the bolt was so stiff
Which was nothing diff
So plenty of juice I applied
Coz I’d known from before
It could give you a sore
If the bolt did not easily slide

Now the bolt it was cold
Like an ice cube to hold
And to warm up it needed some friction
It, I moved back and forth
For all I was worth
And it helped being in such constriction

She asked “Are you done”
I said, “No, not yet hon”
So I picked up the pace, worked like hell
Soon achieved my aim
She said, “Glad that you came
You’re great service to Eskimo Nell”.
 






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  1. Date: 10/3/2013 6:49:00 PM

    =O wonderfully wicked and clever. (Although totally off track I always seem to have that silly Manfred Man song 'Blinded by the Light' whenever I think of Eskimo's....maybe this will change that =P)

  1. Date: 7/26/2013 12:21:00 AM

    haha, yes, my silly Xmas motel poem did end up quite sexless!!!!

    Seal Avatar Richard D Seal Date: 7/28/2013 11:50:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Yes , dunno why you put the warning on, mine are worse and I don't bother with that lol
  1. Date: 7/23/2013 11:20:00 PM

    well, this is a FUNNY poem, but it didn't get into my contest!! Your meter is really good in this one too, Richard!! soupmail for ya.

  1. Date: 7/21/2013 5:22:00 PM

    This was well worth another read. Have a great day Richard.

    Seal Avatar Richard D Seal Date: 7/28/2013 11:48:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Rick, must pay you a visit soon, am getting well behind with everything
  1. Date: 7/20/2013 1:09:00 PM

    - Richard ....... is that why some homes have back door ..... (?) .... lol .... - Winner poem is posted !! - Have a great weekend! - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

    Seal Avatar Richard D Seal Date: 7/20/2013 6:12:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you for being so discreet Anne Lise lol and the answer to your question is, yes. Have a great weekend yourself.
  1. Date: 7/19/2013 4:37:00 PM

    haha..I really enjoyed your entertaining poem : )

    Seal Avatar Richard D Seal Date: 7/20/2013 6:09:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hi Charmain, Thank for dropping by with your comment, your haha's are great appreciated
  1. Date: 7/19/2013 1:53:00 PM

    Lol, Richard, now that's fresh cold tale to tell... hope Andrea, enjoys it.. with open laughter... LINDA

    Seal Avatar Richard D Seal Date: 7/20/2013 6:03:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    There you go my Sweet Dark Friend, you never know what you might run into lol, when you're out on these kinda jobs. Nice to see you
  1. Date: 7/19/2013 7:26:00 AM

    I will be very surprised if this doesn't win top honors. You kill me Richard.

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux Date: 7/21/2013 5:21:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    That is the way it was meant. Yo are most welcome!
    Seal Avatar Richard D Seal Date: 7/19/2013 12:36:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I hope not literally at kill ya Rick, you'd be sorely missed in the soup lol. though I take that as a great compliment, thank you
  1. Date: 7/18/2013 3:31:00 PM

    laughing out loud.. you can really whip up a funny tale about S Neil.. enjoyed,richard... glad i came by..:) huggs

    Seal Avatar Richard D Seal Date: 7/19/2013 12:30:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hi Nette, Oi, let's not bring the whip into it lol Thanks for your comment
  1. Date: 7/18/2013 11:15:00 AM

    hahaha. You bugger, you!!! I was laughing all the way through. I simply love your double innuendos. Very, very well done, Richard. Hey, I'm rooting for you. Good luck, my friend. Licia :-)

    Seal Avatar Richard D Seal Date: 7/18/2013 2:01:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Licia my dear, There as many innuendos in your comment as in the poem lol, it's nice to know you're rooting for me but are you sure you should be doing that lol, never mind, nobody saw lol. Oh my, now my mind is awash with images that are way off the scale looool
  1. Date: 7/18/2013 3:28:00 AM

    Richard.....Richard....Richard...Oh Richard....hmmmmm....hmmmmm...hmmmmm. It seems Eskimo Nell needs your services quite often. Easy to see why! You WILL not be good. Auntie is giving up on you!!!!!

    Ghali Avatar Eileen Ghali Date: 7/19/2013 9:15:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Posts...POSTS...I need to proofread. I have to edit so many essays that I JUST can't be bothered...Oi
    Ghali Avatar Eileen Ghali Date: 7/19/2013 9:14:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    It's 6:10...I stared out the window and I...thought about something to say. Where will YOU find comfort...God knows....(HA HA...had to change the lyrics a bit) Ok...that was a cry for help. I will stick around a bit longer, Richard...but your post do show that you are as naughty as ever and in need of moral guidance! ;) I'm going to have to start charging per visit...and No...I'm no Eskimo Nell so don't you go trying to find the bolt on my door! It works JUST FINE! ;) ;) ;)
    Seal Avatar Richard D Seal Date: 7/18/2013 1:52:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I'm off the rails Auntie, and you're telling me you're giving up on me, just when I needed you most, yes, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu left meeeeee , just when I needed uuuuu most haha
  1. Date: 7/17/2013 9:47:00 PM

    Hi Richard; I loved this. It makes me feel like you were the door repair man. Were you? Anyway Thanks for sharing... Lucilla

    Seal Avatar Richard D Seal Date: 7/18/2013 1:49:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hi Lucy, No it wasnt me, is just a poem, though I have been known to help now and again :):) thanks for your visit dearest Lady