Humanity is an indoctrinated system, there are sheep and there are shepherds.
We are selfish, mindless, and prone to mindless self indulgences.
We have squashed old systems, created new ones, then destroyed those-
constantly in search for "better" than what ever it is that we have.
It is in our nature to divide and conquer. To take what we can, and to sacrifice
as little as possible. If movies, books, stories, or my own poems have ever led you
to believe that unconditional love is real, selfless survival is possible, or that
you can ever live your life without burning desire for things you'll never attain, well, you have been mislead.
I will tell you this, it is possible to train your own mentality. It is possible to exercise
your capacity for compassion, the will to control your impulses, and the ability
to refrain from inflicting emotional or physical pain on others. What it comes down to
is your inner demon.
What every aspect of your natural instincts (and environmental
conditions) connect at one point as, is what you believe to be worth fighting for-
What you believe to be the purpose for your life, what ever it is you believe holds
your life together. I have not found purpose. I have not found meaning.
I have cherished every droplet of love from every turbulent love affair.
I have savored every droplet of alcohol I've poured down my throat in hopes of drowning my own self-perpetuated sorrow.
I have sought love in people I knew could never return it.
I have pushed away people who reciprocated my false intentions.
I have proven
to myself time and time again, that I do not seek happiness, but a reality that hides
from itself, and an illusion I can control, just so I am certain of one thing: Failure.