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THE TREACHEROUS ROCKS I STUMBLE UPON

Andrew Crisci Avatar Andrew Crisci - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled THE TREACHEROUS ROCKS I STUMBLE UPON which was written by poet Andrew Crisci. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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THE TREACHEROUS ROCKS I STUMBLE UPON

Seriously wounded as a helpless, moaning soldier
dying on the bloody battlefield,
I tread a trial not foreseen by me...
seeing my expectations wane in blurry visions.


My road was smooth and wide
without perils that a travel often encounters;
your uncaring attitude and oblivion
are the treacherous rocks I stumble upon.


My generosity is not cherished with appreciation,
giving should be a selfless act expecting no returns;
my well overflowed with the purest water,
and I refreshed your thirsty soul in times of distraught.  


Dearest of all, you kept coming back to receive more
and with open hands you waited for your gift, 
I filled them with whatever I had bearing self-need;
sweetest of all, a stained conscience brings on defiled love.


I could beat these rocks with my fist and bleed,
lay down and painfully die to end my frustrations and avoid self-pity;
would it be worth doing it and earn perennial damnation? 
Driving down this road some late morning, you will spot a corpse
unrecognizable as a mingled car that crashed at high speed and not stop.  



Most adored of all, trudge the same road I trudged
and stumble upon the rocks that fell from the mountaintop,
then look at that sheep-shaped sky ready to thunder and explode.
Most loved of all, never fear...my umbrella will shelter you from raindrops.


Inspired by  Chris Aechtner's poem, " Closer "


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  1. Date: 7/18/2013 10:08:00 PM

    Andrew, Nice to see you on Debbie Guzzi, winning list...... Congratulations! Hugs* SKAT

  1. Date: 7/18/2013 2:27:00 PM

    Oh I loved every bit of this so much to chew on! Big Congrad's on your fine work taking the top spot! Light & Love

  1. Date: 7/17/2013 1:34:00 PM

    Congrats on your great winning work..Sara

  1. Date: 7/17/2013 11:47:00 AM

    Great interpretation of "Closer". I took it in a different direction with my poem. Loved what you did with your poem. Congrats on your win. Su

  1. Date: 7/16/2013 5:42:00 PM

    I chose Chris as my inspiration........and into a whole different direction. That is what is so amazing about these contests......I truly love your imagination !!