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Double Red Sun Dodoitsu- NOT FOR CONTEST

Eileen Ghali Avatar Eileen Ghali - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Double Red Sun Dodoitsu- NOT FOR CONTEST which was written by poet Eileen Ghali. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Double Red Sun Dodoitsu- NOT FOR CONTEST

Red Sun

Option 1

He exudes pulsating heat
Red Sun comes into glory
He pales when compared to you
YOUR flare makes me melt

Option 2

With veiled eyes I look at him
I lie back in surrender
Fiery hands under skin
Love making at best

Eileen Manassian Ghali

I was just wondering if you would be nice enough to say which of these two you prefer. You can also check the one I wrote for the contest. These are my first at this form and well.....It's always good to try! :)

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  1. Date: 7/3/2013 2:51:00 PM

    Ok if I have to think on these things, then the second one is my choice. Though I would get rid of that obesience if I were you, makes you sound rather erm lol. Take care Richard

    Ghali Avatar Eileen Ghali Date: 7/7/2013 3:44:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Happy now, my dear????
    Seal Avatar Richard D Seal Date: 7/5/2013 3:45:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    still no change tut
    Ghali Avatar Eileen Ghali Date: 7/4/2013 2:39:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Well...please do explain, but....I will take your word for it and make the change. Thanks! :)
  1. Date: 7/3/2013 6:12:00 AM

    I would have to go with number two as well. Great job with new form, all three are very well crafted.

    Ghali Avatar Eileen Ghali Date: 7/4/2013 2:40:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks, Richard. Glad you like the second one. It is my favorite. :)
  1. Date: 7/2/2013 11:10:00 PM

    Hey, is Sun your lover? I have written several sonnets about sun as my lover and these remind me of that. I especially liked your second one, but I will tell you my very favorite is the one you chose to put into the contest on the other page. I hope it scores high because it's awesome.

    Ghali Avatar Eileen Ghali Date: 7/4/2013 2:40:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks ever so much for that vote of confidence. Hope Russell likes it. Hugs! Your latest sonnet...OUT OF THIS WORLD!
  1. Date: 7/2/2013 8:45:00 PM

    I really enjoyed reading these very awesome writes this evening! I believe I enjoyed option one out of both of these choices! I just got connected to this one more! I haven't seen the one you posted for the contest yet, but I believe I will soon as the contest is almost full! This is a wonderful poem my friend! What an amazing piece, Great Work!!

    Ghali Avatar Eileen Ghali Date: 7/4/2013 2:41:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks, Russell. Hope you like the one I posted for you for the contest. If not....I had fun learning a new form! :)