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BL devnath Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled I STILL OWE DEBT which was written by poet BL devnath. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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                                      I was with my lovely mummy
                                      traveling smiling face gummy
                                      saw a child not happy bunny
                                  asked for money, asked for money

                                 The guard blew whistle I not sieve
                                     felt he who lost all his life's ziv
                                     twenty five paisa tried to give
                                     I failed forgive I failed forgive

                                   The station's name I forgot yet
                                       his face in memory upset
                                   I feel pain when that is reset 
                                  I still owe debt I still owe debt

Note: This is real fact of my childhood life when I was traveling with my mom by a train.

For the Monotetra Poetry Contest of Kim Merryman

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  1. Date: 6/25/2013 4:29:00 PM
    I really like your story, my friend. However, you need to rhyme all the end rhymes. I hope you can do it so you can be on the winners list. It's really a good one close to your heart.

    devnath Avatar BL devnath
    Date: 6/25/2013 7:14:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Many thanks my friend for your kind help. I just tried it and it is my first one of this form. Loved always, bl
  1. Date: 6/25/2013 12:49:00 PM
    Very touching story you have penned here bl.Enjoyed the read.

    devnath Avatar BL devnath
    Date: 6/25/2013 7:15:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Many thanks for giving time to my page and for your comment. Loved always, bl