This is about someone else.
How long have I waited for this pain to pass,
Sharp as a needle and cutting like glass;
It lies in my bones and drives me to tears
Turning my minutes and hours to years.
There is no cure, and it has no name;
My joy turns to sorrow and gladness to shame.
For the pain never leaves me; it laughs in my face
My victories are few and end in disgrace.
It always pursues me, relentless and grim,
Laughing at my own endurance worn thin;
It tears at my back and snaps at my legs
No matter how loudly or sadly I beg.
It stalks me and watches, never once leaving
Whether or not I am hoping, believing
That it would just go. Run away, run away!
It resides in my belly and aches every day.
What does it want? A believer? A home?
Or does it just relish my every moan?
What would appease it? What would repel it?
I wish I knew some way that I could dispel it,
But there is no hope, as of yet there's no light.
The unnamed assailant attacks me each night
And causes me suffering again and again.
If I ended my life, would this pain also end?
Would I finally be free of this tormenting foe
Whose name and purpose I don't even know?
Or is there yet hope for a lost one like me?
Some way to fight it, and finally be free?
Can anyone name it? Does anyone know
The source of this agony, or what makes it go,
So that I may rest? Or am I condamned
To suffer and let it consume who I am?