My spouse and I attended my thirtieth class reunion at Lydia's Smorgasbord.
I had avoided such past events since in high school I was largely ignored!
But my wife proclaimed that we would attend, thus ending that debate!
The dreaded encounter is expressed in verse below that I will now relate.
A social hour preceded the smorgasbord where the booze freely flowed.
I looked about the room to see if I could spot anyone that I knowed.
I hardly recognized the campus queen - she had acquired a heap of weight!
That once haughty snob now tipped the scales, I judged, at one ninety-eight!
I saw the big-man-on-campus that was named most apt to score success.
He had a dearth of hair, a girth of gut and an astonishing lack of finesse!
Some gal with purple hair staggered up to me and planted a slobbery kiss!
Must've been one of my old flames as I mused, "Who in the hell is this?"
Guys gravitated my way boasting of this and that, bending my weary ear,
Boring me with nasty jokes and trivia that I really didn't care to hear!
Of course I told others how great they looked, staring them dead in the eye,
I asked the Lord's forgiveness and crossed my fingers for telling such a lie!
The jocks were trying to impress one and all with their former capabilities.
Most were hobbling about with canes discreetly masking their disabilities.
'Twas an interesting eve and the grub was great, of that there was no doubt.
But for the fortieth, fiftieth and sixtieth reunions, please include me out!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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