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Double Solitaire

Carrie Richards Avatar Carrie Richards - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Double Solitaire which was written by poet Carrie Richards. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Double Solitaire

Through the window view, a thirsty lawn with unclad shades of gray
Arthritic winds have claimed the dawn, this wretched dismal day
The trees bend low, the sun will rise, with solemn loathing dread
With rote routine, he breaks the loaf, one slice of frozen bread

He looks around the cheerless room,  a familiar scent of wrong
An angled light has slithered in, with shadows deep and long
and spotlights what's become of him, a man who isn't there...
with clothes unkempt, a shuffled step, and stubble on his chin
 
Four vinyl chairs, Formica clad, a game of solitaire
Before him sits a plate of food, at a table set for one
A cup of cold, a cigarette,  and he who sits alone
The room depicts, what might have been, but reeks with wrought despair

A parakeet within a cage has mocked him once again
The voice is shrill, it squawks with rage, 'Unlock me if you dare!'
The floor is strewn with littered seed, where mice will share the spill
All time has stopped, in ash and dust, the hours couldn't care.......

He takes a puff, then bites the crust, charred taste of toasted bread
For company, she stares at him across the morning's edge, 
Her body propped against the wall, beneath the wooden ledge
Her fixed eyes stare, as if surprised...all life has long been dead

Inaudible, just barely heard, he hums a song they knew
He tells her that the coffee's done, and offers her a chair
He shuffles cards, a few for her, and pours a cup of brew
With rote routine, he cuts the deck ........for double solitaire
  


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Written for Roy Jerden's Contest: "Poems To Keep You Awake At Night"

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  1. Date: 6/12/2013 9:53:00 AM
    Oh my, Carrie-- you honestly made me do a double take on that 5th stanza of yours-- I didn't suspect that and made me read it again-- you definitely set the eerie tone so well here with the vivid descriptions that you do so wonderfully well! I can just picture this and with just the right mix of creepiness to it! Super congrats on your 1st place win, so happy to see your name up there!

  1. Date: 6/11/2013 4:50:00 PM
    Chills!...I don't know where to begin on this one. You describe this eerie scene perfectly and then the 5th verse...Wow, that almost knocked me outta my chair! Also, 'double solitaire'...What a contrast! Congratulations my friend - Tim

  1. Date: 6/11/2013 3:46:00 PM
    So well done! Congratulations

  1. Date: 6/11/2013 3:43:00 PM
    the first stanza sets the tone for this macabre tale....congrats on a great win

  1. Date: 6/11/2013 5:33:00 AM
    very good read. congrats, randy

  1. Date: 6/11/2013 3:40:00 AM
    Awesome win. Congratulations. Rick

  1. Date: 6/11/2013 12:27:00 AM
    Wow :) Gave me the chills :) Congrats on the win

  1. Date: 6/10/2013 2:12:00 PM
    Very unique and very creepy & would make a grand Flash Fiction! I bet you could pump this up to 600 words NO problem! The rhythm adds to the suspense! [The room's reek of might have been fills with despair.] Congrad's on your win Light & Love [soup mail me your email & I will send an example!]

  1. Date: 6/10/2013 2:05:00 PM
    congrats in Roy's contest............. SKAT

  1. Date: 6/10/2013 1:50:00 PM
    I KNEW this one would win! Congrats! :)

  1. Date: 6/10/2013 1:13:00 PM
    yes shall not sleep tonight. congratulations Carrie xx

  1. Date: 6/10/2013 12:50:00 PM
    Congratulations on the top spot, Carrie! I'll be posting a blog with additional comments.

  1. Date: 6/3/2013 5:25:00 PM
    Wow, did this ever give me shivers!!! Absolutely fantastic! And thank you for your sweet comment on my "Sunflower Summers" poem - How fun would it be to round up the poets on here for wine and cheese on a summer patio?? :)

  1. Date: 5/27/2013 11:37:00 PM
    Nc Poem. I also joined this contest, my entry is "Come Out and Play". Best of lucks to both of us

  1. Date: 5/27/2013 7:57:00 PM
    WOW! The imagery in your poem is fantastic! An excellent piece, Carrie! A winner for sure! Love, Kim