I took an aging friend out shopping the other day
There was an Anne Summers shop, a new one by the way
“Oh come on there’s underwear," she said, "they may have my size."
My answer was “No dear, I think you’ll get a surprise.”
But as she slipped my grasp she nipped in before I could stop her.
She stood with her mouth open and asked me what they all were…
“What do you mean dear?” I asked my face was going red
She was holding up a vibrator and swinging it over her head…
“Look at this a mixer, why is it in a foundation shop?”
I grabbed her by the arm saying “A mixer and foundation shop, it is not.”
There were some undies with no crotch, she picked them up and said
“I think there should be more quality control, these are missing on some thread.”
“Come on dear” I said, as I dragged her through the door
“This is really a sex aid shop” I was leaving before she said more
“If this is an aid shop do we have to give contributions then?
And what are all them pink things that look like worms but say on them ‘Hen’
“Come on dear it’s time to go, this shop is not for you,
I was distinctly embarrassed now and feeling a little bit blue
I told her it was time to go; I wanted to leave before we were seen
I heard her say "you’re joking love
“I’m getting the big one there in green……..”