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Melancholy Memory

Elai Cee Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Melancholy Memory which was written by poet Elai Cee. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Melancholy Memory

                                     Hundreds of eyes saw
                                 the sacrifice you'd made
                                    Back from the eon days, 
                                          the anguish

                                    You let them stamp you
                                 by words and harmful deeds
                                    They mocked you totally 
                                           by fullest

                                       I recalled the last, 
                                  the last word that you said
                                     "Mom is here loving you" 
                                          with a smile

                                       Opening your fist
                                     It made us in trouble
                                    We all hugged you tightly
                                           with deep cry!

                                     Nothing more to say
                                 but giving thanks for you
                                  The days that you were here
                                         God blessed you!


                          
                                        5-6-6-3 SYLLABLES

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  1. Date: 8/28/2013 6:48:00 PM
    Your poem is lovely and I especially like how heartfelt and relaxing your words are while perusing. Well crafted! Merci

  1. Date: 7/10/2013 12:20:00 AM
    I do like the rhythm and the words of this poem. Nicely done ;}

  1. Date: 5/24/2013 11:14:00 PM
    Elai, the way you pen it down is awesome. Goodluck in the contest# xx

    Cee Avatar Elai Cee
    Date: 5/26/2013 7:44:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    really appreciate ur sayings thanks Chuma
  1. Date: 5/24/2013 7:21:00 AM
    I like the pattern and was moved by the sadness as well as the underlying celebration of life and the appreciation for the time that was granted.

    Cee Avatar Elai Cee
    Date: 5/24/2013 9:11:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    hey Richard, i intentionally made this to indirect who's died here... with a mystery slot here...
    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 5/24/2013 7:23:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I am not fully sure who the person is who died. When I first read it I thought it was your dad but on re reading it could also be a sibling.
  1. Date: 5/11/2013 1:10:00 AM
    It's mostly good, sweetie. Looking at what you wrote asking us for help. One suggestion I'd give you is when you say "keep me cry" it doesn't work because we say "keep me crying" So to fix that, maybe you could say "I'm crying" what do you think?

    Cee Avatar Elai Cee
    Date: 5/20/2013 3:18:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    hi Andrea, I think it so too.. but there's a pattern here.. 5/6/6/3 syllables so i decided to change the words here...thanks u
  1. Date: 5/11/2013 12:11:00 AM
    Hi poets! Help me to improve and make my poem beautiful by giving your comments and suggestions. This is included by the Melancholy Memory Free Poetry Contest.---keep smiling, Elai