Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

Quote of the Day

Quote Left"The harder you work, the luckier you get."Quote Right

by Gary Player

  |  Comment

Contemporary haiku

Cyndi MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Contemporary haiku which was written by poet Cyndi MacMillan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

Read Poems by Cyndi MacMillan

Best Cyndi Macmillan Poems

+ Fav Poet

Contemporary haiku

modest black, minding

such teeny, Hawaiian prints

in the tot pool

*What I experienced today, swimming with my girl... the juxtaposition of all these mom in simple, black sheaths watching and chasing after toddlers and preschoolers in these super bright swimsuits... made me smile. 

The metaphor is, obviously, intentional, and WELCOME with some mags which I''ll soon be submitting haiku.  

QUESTION: Did I capture my intention. Did you SEE what I was talking about in the haiku or did you only go AHA once you read this notation? THANKS FOR ANY COMMENTS! xox

Post Comments

Please Login to post a comment
  1. Date: 5/22/2013 10:23:00 AM
    I think it is perfect for your intention and no, I got the aha before your comment--doesn't it even lean to personification?

  1. Date: 5/15/2013 7:14:00 AM
    Oh my goodness Cyndi Lou. The subdued against the "dued" or whatever. I must say I smiled the pleased, knowing smile when I read your haiku. I didn't think beyond to the black clad oldies passing on polka dots to the young. Just the scene - so universal. Did you know I was scrolling through your poetry yesterday, waiting for more time to comment and then voila I see you at my page. Happy Mother's day - yes! love, Kathy

  1. Date: 5/11/2013 4:44:00 PM
    Lovely Lady, Cyndi... happy mother's day...PD

  1. Date: 5/11/2013 1:21:00 AM
    cyndi, I got the idea fairly well. The only thing I don't like is how the first line goes on into the second one. I always like when new thought (in this case the verb minding) goes to the next line. It's sure a cute picture though!!