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I shall betray you II

Giorgio A. V. Avatar Giorgio A. V. - LIFETIME Premium Member Giorgio A. V. - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled I shall betray you II which was written by poet Giorgio A. V.. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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(Iambic Tetrameter) Entry made for the contest Metamorph by Debbie Guzzi


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I shall betray you II


Old poem:

I shall betray you

I shall betray you, you just said,
cause life is a lone roses' bed,
thread twined and weaved on canvas grid.

The leaves turn yellow you just said,
because the garlands only fade,
adornment hung - on lonely door.

Arrows of thoughts, that guide my quill
destined to leave, are scared and still,
celestial hue and coastal shore.

Without your voice, my quest and role,
a glassy dome, my soul's extol,
in dark I see your glance's mead.

© G. V. 05-13-2011 All rights reserved
(Iambic Tetrameter)
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New poem:

I shall betray you

I shall betray you, you just said,
cause life is a lone roses' bed,
thread twined and weaved on canvas grid.

The leaves turn yellow you just said,
because the garlands only fade,
adornment hung - on lonely door.
............
With eminent the lights outside,
impertinent the thorns inside,
the mistle droplets shine on road.

In air descends guarded her veil
I splendid emptiness inhale,
marquee of stars is my abode.

The cadence of my heart's her grace
aloneness that discerns and prays,
- her eyes that stare to nightly fields.

The rain adores whom she embraced
when wet my finger tips outraced
her tears and face - caressed eye lids.
............
Arrows of thoughts, that guide my quill
destined to leave, are scared and still,
celestial hue and coastal shore.

Without your voice, my quest and role,
a glassy dome, my soul's extol,
in dark I see your glance's mead.

© G. V., 04-05-2013, All Rights Reserved

Sponsor: Debbie Guzzi
Contest Name: Metamorph
Placement: 2nd

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  1. Date: 6/22/2013 5:21:00 PM
    hey, I see this was your first contest?? Or did I get that wrong?Anyway, big congrats to you for your placement, though it is a belated congratulations. Deb is a hard judge and it looks like you passed the test!

  1. Date: 5/1/2013 5:59:00 PM
    Hi Giorgio,, Congratulations :-) In Debbie's "Metamorph" contest. I like the poem... always~ PD

  1. Date: 4/29/2013 11:18:00 AM
    Congrats on your great winning work..Great poetic quality that you have penned..Sara

  1. Date: 4/26/2013 12:06:00 AM
    Big Congrats on your win~A.O

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 3:36:00 PM
    I so liked the second one better, very nice to meet you.. Congrad's on your win. Light & Love

    A. V. Avatar Giorgio A. V.
    Date: 5/22/2013 8:45:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I am honored by the victory and distinction. Thank you very much. G.
  1. Date: 4/25/2013 1:53:00 PM
    Beautiful deepening of an already eloquent Poem Congratulations Giorgio. SuZ

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 10:09:00 AM
    Many congratulations Giorgio , well done

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 9:15:00 AM
    And who could believe such an amazing poem (number 1) could get any better? But poem (number 2)....is magnificent........wow, I bow down to such talent....this is truly an example of a talented poet. Congratulations so deserved!!

  1. Date: 4/20/2013 7:34:00 AM
    I love the tranzformation in your poem..So beautful and romantic..your verse lingers-.Charma