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haiku 22 haiku 23 about a rose petal

Charmaine Chircop Avatar Charmaine Chircop - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled haiku 22 haiku 23 about a rose petal which was written by poet Charmaine Chircop. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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haiku 22 haiku 23 about a rose petal

a pressed petal between stained pages his scent still lingers - - - a pressed petal between stained pages his fading scent

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  1. Date: 4/6/2013 4:15:00 PM
    FIRST one!!

  1. Date: 4/6/2013 9:30:00 AM
    Some feel a need to separate these two haiku. However, for me they work as the perfect pair. "Stained" is an interesting word choice for both, given that it can imply a number of conditions. Nice work! Jack

  1. Date: 4/1/2013 3:34:00 PM
    I like both a lot, but maybe for haiku form, the second is better?

  1. Date: 4/1/2013 7:45:00 AM
    Agree with Frank! Awesome!

  1. Date: 3/30/2013 7:55:00 PM
    Both <3ly! (I preferred the first one!). : )

  1. Date: 3/30/2013 9:55:00 AM
    Both beautiful, both are so sad, I would like (as Chis mentions) know a little more..... there is a story waiting to be told...but to choose, I would pick #1 :)

  1. Date: 3/30/2013 5:55:00 AM
    I like the first one better, but I suppose everyone has their own opinion. What a thought though! Such power it has to engage the senses!

  1. Date: 3/29/2013 7:35:00 PM
    Both versions are impressive(I'll edit this comment regardless -- in the end-line of the 2nd version, is "fainting" supposed to be "fading"?). The rose petal has such a sentimental, melancholy feel to it. This is only a suggestion(I am rambling a bit): this haiku has a strong atmosphere and could possibly be extended into a great tanka.

    Chircop Avatar Charmaine Chircop
    Date: 3/30/2013 12:09:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Tnks for stopping by Chris..Ow gee i mafe a huge typo..I wrote fainting scent..that would give a different meant fading all the way..tnks for getting my attention..Yep i could make a tanka too.i guess : )
  1. Date: 3/29/2013 6:19:00 PM
    I like the second one better, though both are nice the second one is more effective, xxx

  1. Date: 3/29/2013 4:43:00 PM
    I love these Haiku Charmaine, both are exquisitely written! My favorite has to be the last one, I don't know why, it just gives a certain feel! What a spectacular and creative poem, Great Work!!