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A Successful Plight - Metamorph

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Below is the poem entitled A Successful Plight - Metamorph which was written by poet RALPH TAYLOR. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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A Successful Plight - Metamorph

Original - monorhyme


Inside, he felt the time was right.
He told himself, tonight's the night!
The ring was in a box of white.
Despite feeling anxious, and a little tight,
he proposed to her, in the candlelight.
She answered - yes, to his delight,
which ended his successful plight!


Rewrite - Rhyme

This is it, he told himself!
The time to propose is now!
He wanted to ask her "the question,"
but wasn't, really sure, how!

He bought a ring, in a little white box!
His nerves were a literal mess!
But everything turned out, delightful, because,
the answer he got was a "yes!"

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  1. Date: 5/1/2013 6:03:00 PM

    Ralph, Congratulations :-) In Debbie's "Metamorph" contest. always~ PD

  1. Date: 4/30/2013 3:44:00 PM

    Great work about a very unique topic..Congrats on your great win..Sara

  1. Date: 4/28/2013 9:39:00 AM

    Good work Ralph... Congrats on your win~A.O

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 7:06:00 PM

    Congrats on your win Ralph :) wishing you a wonderful day :D g, Yanny

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 10:17:00 AM

    Many congratulations Ralph , well done xx

  1. Date: 4/25/2013 9:13:00 AM

    I love happy endings. Congrats on your win, Ralph. Su

  1. Date: 4/12/2013 7:10:00 PM

    The edit is an improvement in my mind although both are very similar. I don't think the monorhyme fits with the excitement of the moment of popping the question. Very well-done.

  1. Date: 3/31/2013 10:36:00 AM

    They both give a different mood. The monorhyme seems tightly wound whereas the re-write is more relaxed. I like them both.

  1. Date: 3/29/2013 12:36:00 PM

    Good writing, Ralph. I can't decide which is my favorite. They're both delightful poems. :)

  1. Date: 3/28/2013 9:04:00 PM

    Way to go, it's nice that you got the Girl!