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Holding Sand

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Below is the poem entitled Holding Sand which was written by poet Caleb Smith. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Holding Sand

  The sun sank its' way into the western horizon, and he watched his family on the shore. He was neither awake nor dreaming. He was in a place where the line between dreams and reality was a living thing, feeding on past horrors and the future's uncertainty. The hungry watcher prepared a feast. His daughter had blue ribbons in her hair, and the salty breeze made them dance. His beautiful wife was a painting of desire, and the background was merely a mockery of the light that shone from her. His son, young and strong, stood by the failing shoreline, and his laughter carried between the waves. He wanted to go to them, but his legs were the sand, and would not carry him. His daughter raised a hand to wave and his mind screamed. He could not speak. He could not tell her, "This is not goodbye." He watched in despair as his wife took their hands and led them to the ocean. He clawed at his mouth to open, and wept as the depths took them. Eden's blue ribbons were the first to disappear, and with them went his breath. Silas's broad shoulders were the next to go, and with them went his purpose. Last of all, his love was consumed by the hungry blue, and he saw the final scraps of his soul drown with her. He could see her long brown hair float on the surface for the bitterest moment ... and the sunset was turned to blood. Staring into the nothing that was left for him, the edge of his own words sliced into the heart of his grief.
 "I can see the sunset as it turns to red ... where I go to die ... prepare my bed."

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  1. Date: 7/18/2013 12:11:00 AM
    Trying to find a poem i didn t read but i read this one too.Hope you..your lovely wife and kids are doing well Cal..Maybe its time for some new poems-Charma : )

  1. Date: 4/29/2013 12:46:00 PM
    This is a very intriguing read-- and I really like your title for this! You said I was a natural storyteller-- shucks I am humbled by that since you are one gripping and wonderful storyteller-- you held my attention throughout, although admittedly, I would prefer more line breaks. Way to go with your descriptions here, Caleb. Btw, how nice of you to catch something else in my Silver Strands poem-- one thing about my writes, I like to put layers in them most of the time ;)

  1. Date: 4/5/2013 5:05:00 PM
    Caleb, you currently have two poems in the top 100 list of recent poems posted. I guess they go by number of comments made on the poems. congrats because this is one that really deserves it. Echoes was your other one. It was really high on the list. I rarely check those lists. I have only one on it this time.

  1. Date: 3/27/2013 1:38:00 AM
    I love the metaphors you used in this prose poem Caleb and the love story with a tragic end..Very creative indeed..Charma : )

  1. Date: 3/26/2013 11:56:00 PM
    This is AWESOME, Caleb. I just love the "feel" of it. When you say your legs ARE sand. What a great metaphor. and the way you describe the waves taking each one by one by one. yes, I would call this prose. I did a chapbook called prosies. I realized my free verse were actually prose, and I changed them all to this paragraph style. It's a great style for you.

  1. Date: 3/26/2013 11:56:00 PM
    and I take this as a dream. The other day, after having seen the walking Dead, I dreamed of a little kitty and having to stomp its poor head when it came at me as a zombie cat!!

  1. Date: 3/26/2013 12:24:00 PM
    Caleb, a fantastic write - you impress me much!! B-R-A-V-O!! - (the "form" does not mean so much to me, love it!) - Wish you a nice Easter. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

  1. Date: 3/26/2013 11:03:00 AM
    This is AWESOME!!! Seriously, this is so creative and imaginative. You should write prose more often - and yes, in my opinion, this piece is prose. Check this out for more info: http://www.poetrysoup.com/prose/prose_vs_poetry.aspx (P.S. If I'm a haiku ninja, I guess that makes you a creative pill popper? haha)