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Commercial Slam

Tim Ryerson Avatar Tim Ryerson - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Commercial Slam which was written by poet Tim Ryerson. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Commercial Slam

MASSENGILL MADNESS
Daughter: 'Mom, I have a real personal question...Do you douche?'
Mother: 'Yes I do dear, and I STRONGLY suggest that you do the same'

AN APPOINTMENT WITH DR. VIAGRA 
Husband: Honey, I consulted a doctor before using this product and my 
erection has lasted four or more hours so I guess I'm going to have to seek 
immediate medical attention
Wife: UH-UHH big boy, GET back over here
Husband: But honey, It HURTS!
Wife: Not tonight, I have a headache...

I JUST CAN’T HELP IT, YA KNOW?
Patient: Help!  I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
Response: Duly noted, will there be anything else?
Patient: Are you going to call an ambulance?
Response: Ambulance?  Heck no! Call one yourself
Patient: But I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
Response: (Sigh) Can’t you just kind of roll around or something?
Patient: What the…What did you say?
Response: Lord!...Deaf as a doornail too
Patient: Please! Can you at least give me some advice?
Response: Now she thinks we’re Dear Abbey….


WE SAY THIS STUFF AT THE END REALLY FAST SO YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND 
IT
(this medicine may cause marked drowsiness and insomnia do not take 
internally do not take this medicine with prescription drugs or street drugs 
either for that matter do not take this medication if your are pregnant or 
nursing if you accidentally on purpose take this medication while pregnant or 
nursing consult a pregnant or nursing nurse immediately if not sooner or later 
as a matter of fact don't take this medicine at all flush it down the damn toilet 
to hide the evidence and besides it doesn't work anyway it ain't nothing but 
sugar and flour haven't you heard of the power of suggestion and positive 
thinking we fully realize this may have a negative affect on sales but who 
gives a crap frankly we're tired of making this stuff pill after pill after pill very 
monotonous sometimes we nod off on our feet one time a guy did that and he 
fell on the conveyor belt and ended up getting wrapped and packaged and 
shipped off to god knows where when we contacted the police to report a 
missing person they said that's your problem we're not gonna go around 
looking for some idiot wrapped in a freekin package and besides how we 
gonna know who's in there anyways identification would prove to be a near 
impossible task and we're short-handed as it is and we don't pay overtime 
neither so stop harassing us or we'll call the cops)

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  1. Date: 6/10/2013 9:40:00 AM
    TIM, a nice little win, in the SKAT' contest... xox~ Always & Forever *LINDA

  1. Date: 6/9/2013 5:39:00 AM
    Wonderful, well crafted. Congrats on your win

  1. Date: 6/7/2013 1:00:00 PM
    Tim, Congratulations with your poem. thank you for supporting my latest contest LUV~SKAT

  1. Date: 3/27/2013 9:27:00 AM
    HAAA...Oh Lord. Funny stuff my man!

  1. Date: 3/22/2013 10:25:00 PM
    Now that's entertainment! You made me laugh on the outside, probably getting even with me for making you cry*lol*. Have a wonderful evening I hope you made the most of the Four Hours.

  1. Date: 3/22/2013 1:33:00 PM
    [blush] you know if you throw it in the toilet it gets in the ground water before you know it we will have fish with bossums! Light & Love Cher

  1. Date: 3/21/2013 11:05:00 AM
    Ain't it the truth.... I tell ya some of the commercials these days are not family friendly .....the tickler!!!! Really!!!!!! And what about bob and all his big stuff? Great poem.