Daughter: 'Mom, I have a real personal question...Do you douche?'
Mother: 'Yes I do dear, and I STRONGLY suggest that you do the same'
AN APPOINTMENT WITH DR. VIAGRA
Husband: Honey, I consulted a doctor before using this product and my
erection has lasted four or more hours so I guess I'm going to have to seek
immediate medical attention
Wife: UH-UHH big boy, GET back over here
Husband: But honey, It HURTS!
Wife: Not tonight, I have a headache...
I JUST CAN’T HELP IT, YA KNOW?
Patient: Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
Response: Duly noted, will there be anything else?
Patient: Are you going to call an ambulance?
Response: Ambulance? Heck no! Call one yourself
Patient: But I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
Response: (Sigh) Can’t you just kind of roll around or something?
Patient: What the…What did you say?
Response: Lord!...Deaf as a doornail too
Patient: Please! Can you at least give me some advice?
Response: Now she thinks we’re Dear Abbey….
WE SAY THIS STUFF AT THE END REALLY FAST SO YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND
(this medicine may cause marked drowsiness and insomnia do not take
internally do not take this medicine with prescription drugs or street drugs
either for that matter do not take this medication if your are pregnant or
nursing if you accidentally on purpose take this medication while pregnant or
nursing consult a pregnant or nursing nurse immediately if not sooner or later
as a matter of fact don't take this medicine at all flush it down the damn toilet
to hide the evidence and besides it doesn't work anyway it ain't nothing but
sugar and flour haven't you heard of the power of suggestion and positive
thinking we fully realize this may have a negative affect on sales but who
gives a crap frankly we're tired of making this stuff pill after pill after pill very
monotonous sometimes we nod off on our feet one time a guy did that and he
fell on the conveyor belt and ended up getting wrapped and packaged and
shipped off to god knows where when we contacted the police to report a
missing person they said that's your problem we're not gonna go around
looking for some idiot wrapped in a freekin package and besides how we
gonna know who's in there anyways identification would prove to be a near
impossible task and we're short-handed as it is and we don't pay overtime
neither so stop harassing us or we'll call the cops)