So when-Jack-and-Jill reached the top of the hill
Jack couldn't stand still (Tried to snatch a cheap thrill)
Kissed Jill on the mouth
(Things quickly went south)
Then Jack said to Jill...'Can looks really KILL?'
Okay, naughty boys and good girls
Let's give Mother Goose one more whirl...
Once the elderly, eccentric Miss Muffet
Informed neighbors: 'Kiss-my-keester and stuff it!'
Thus poor Charlotte the Spider
Dropped and plopped down beside her
And Miss Muffet squashed her flat with her tuffet...
The title is a direct quote from the late, great Paul Harvey: Radio and Television commentator...