Haiku 11 by Timothy Hicks

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 4/24/2013 3:25:00 PM

yes, I came to this one that I saw before. I still likes it! Just wanted to tell you thanks for your interesting comments you leave me, They are very original and enjoyable. So much better than the copy paste congratulations we get here. yes, 55 was sure an awesome year to be born in. I wanted you to know I am not in the bad shape of my blasted tree, in case you were thinking maybe I was. I tend to dramatize my health. (bad and unexplained shoulder pain is about the worst I've got!)

Anne Currin

Date: 3/21/2013 1:40:00 PM

I love all of your haikus, they are so good!!

Timothy Hicks Date: 3/21/2013 10:16:00 PM

Thanks Anne... you're too kind! :D

Date: 3/20/2013 3:19:00 PM

timothy, I had gotten the "oceans apart" metaphor and thought it worked just as well. Sorry if my teasing comment had anything to do with your changing it. This works too!! Oh, and I TRIED to get a water bed but my husband got the kind that is "waveless" when we were first married. and that kind sucks!!!

Timothy Hicks Date: 3/20/2013 8:22:00 PM

No worries Andrea! Your comment had nothing to do with me changing it... Debbie was giving me advice about writing haiku which is supposed to be more objective... where as the previous version was subjective (if that makes any sense)... but rest assured it didn't have anything to do with you... lol.

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 3/19/2013 11:38:00 PM

I know this is not meant to be funny but we have this California King size bed so it is VERY roomy and often we are way on other sides, just because it's so comfy and my new cat is often smack in the middle of our pillows! Also, this would be a really cool haiku if they were on a water bed!

Timothy Hicks Date: 3/20/2013 11:06:00 AM

Ha! You're very clever dear Andrea! My parents used to have a waterbed and when I was little I absolutely LOVED that bed. Sorry to disappoint but I did just edit that last line now... I've been having some trouble writing this one, lol.

Becca Lucas

Date: 3/19/2013 10:01:00 PM

I love this metaphorical Haiku! I don't think I've ever tried one, because I don't know what the rules are lol I do love this one though... except it's too bad when you're oceans apart.

Timothy Hicks Date: 3/19/2013 10:10:00 PM

If you wish to get a feel for haiku you can read Basho, Issa, Buson or Shiki (the old Japanese masters of the form)... I find them to be quite the fun mental challenge!

Timothy Hicks Date: 3/19/2013 10:08:00 PM

Haiku is a surprisingly big topic (though you wouldn't think so being such a small poem)... however the form is quite ancient! It's difficult to explain haiku in a couple sentences but I will tell you what I know. A poem that can be said in one breath, observing the world around you, while creating an overall picture in the fewest words possible, for maximum effectiveness.

Richard Lamoureux

Date: 3/19/2013 8:20:00 PM

For me Haiku is the most difficult form. Debbie is very knowledgeable and can help steer you in the right direction.

Timothy Hicks Date: 3/19/2013 8:35:00 PM

Having read some of her haiku I can see she's been writing them for awhile. The biggest milestone for me was realizing that the 5-7-5 syllable count limits the potential of haiku and constricts your way of thinking. It's better not to think in syllables but the ideas your few words present...

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 3/19/2013 6:55:00 PM

Hi new friend I ponder the ocean being in the same frame as the bed? the setting is the bedroom the action is leaning...if you wish to show her coldness to his approach you need a different line 3. [ a body pillow stops me] Light & Love

Timothy Hicks Date: 3/19/2013 8:06:00 PM

Hi Debbie. I appreciate your honesty and advice on my haiku... the ocean was metaphorical, referring to the "distance" between them... if someone looks at it in a more provocative way the ocean could symbolize sweat. I so love to read genuine comments... so thank you! :)

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 3/19/2013 4:07:00 PM

Hello Timothy, I'm wondering what the crossing ocean image is about... he he.. after reading your haiku number 6... you are truly a good and clever poet, who likes to be legit with the imagery.... always~ LINDA

Timothy Hicks Date: 3/19/2013 4:33:00 PM

LOL! The ocean line was meant to be metaphoric, but I can see now how it could mean "other" things. Always love to read your comments...

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Haiku 11

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